Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira
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Nov 10, 2025 In this engaging conversation, Elizabeth Ferreira, an associate therapist and couples practitioner, explores the nuances of authenticity in relationships. She discusses how developmental trauma and societal pressures impact self-expression. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of healthy anger and vulnerability in fostering connection, advocating for prioritizing each other's needs. She encourages 'dating yourself' to uncover true desires and celebrates the beauty of embracing your quirks. The insights on navigating change within partnerships are both profound and practical.
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Why Couples Lose The Same-Team Feeling
- Most couples seek therapy because they no longer feel like they are on the same team and can't hear each other without defensiveness.
- Elizabeth links this to developmental "conditions of worth" that erode authentic self-expression and create resentment.
A 'Wise Adult' Creates Response Space
- Elizabeth frames the self as multiple parts and a separate wise adult that can observe and negotiate between them.
- That observing seat creates space to respond rather than be hijacked by reactive parts in relationship conflicts.
Visible Self-Expression Changed The Dynamic
- Forrest describes Elizabeth's visible self-expression changes: red hair, new clothing, tattoos as matching inside with outside.
- These changes helped Elizabeth feel freer and more authentic in the relationship.
