Girls Night #165: How to stop being a people pleaser (and create healthy boundaries!) with Blake Blankenbecler

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls Night!

A few summers ago — the summer of 2018, to be exact — was one of the toughest, darkest, saddest, most difficult times of my whole entire life. I found myself in an absolute tailspin of anxiety and depression.

And as the anniversary of this season rolls around each year, I always find myself remembering with striking clarity how it all felt. As the weather grows warmer and summer sets in, I always feel a fresh wave of gratitude for the fact that I'm not stuck in that dark place anymore. And I tear up every single time I think of the women who carried me through it.

Our guest for today’s episode is my former therapist — the one who walked me through that dark season in 2018 and so much more — Blake Blankenbecler. 

And today I’ve invited her on the show to talk about people-pleasing.

People-pleasing and how to set boundaries are things she and I talked about a LOT during the years I was seeing her. And I cannot even begin to tell you how much freedom I was able to step into as a result.

Friends, if you’re a people-pleaser, if you have a hard time saying no, feel guilty for setting boundaries, worry constantly about how other people are perceiving you, and often feel resentful because you feel so depleted from it all — this episode is for you. 

(Quick disclaimer here: Confidentiality is something that is taken really seriously when it comes to counseling and therapy. And so it’s pretty unconventional for me to be introducing you to my counselors — both former and current — and for us to be sharing some of what we’ve talked about in our sessions. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve had all of the conversations and signed all the necessary paperwork when it comes to the ethics of having them on the show — especially with my current therapist who you’ll meet next week — we’ve done all the work to make sure to protect my privacy, the work we’ve done together, and the integrity of our therapeutic relationship. Just wanted to make sure to say that.)

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