Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Coping with Failure, and Dealing with Disappointment

Feb 28, 2022

55:42

Snipd AI

In this podcast, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the concept of failure and disappointment, exploring its different forms and perspectives. They delve into the brain's response to loss and the cultural attitudes towards failure. They highlight the importance of managing expectations and developing resilience. They also discuss the role of family experiences and childhood narratives in coping with failure. The podcast emphasizes the value of failure as an opportunity for growth and learning, and provides strategies for managing the pain of failure and setting up feedback systems. Overall, it offers valuable insights on how to cope with failure and disappointment in a constructive way.

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Quick takeaways

Failure can be reframed as a learning opportunity.

Shifting the focus from comparing oneself to societal standards to pursuing excellence and enjoyment in what one does can cultivate a more resilient and satisfied mindset.

Recognizing that failure is a necessary element of progress can help overcome the fear associated with it.

Deep dives

Understanding the Complexity of Failure

Failure is a multifaceted concept, from feeling like we fell short of our goals to making bad decisions. Failure can have objective, subjective, and moral dimensions. It can also stem from unrealistic expectations imposed by oneself or others. Challenges and disappointments are essential parts of life that offer valuable opportunities for growth and resilience.

Introduction

5min

Coping with Failure and Disappointment

9min

Negotiating Academic Expectations and Passion for Gaming

2min

The Impact of Conflicting Messages on Narcissistic Neurosis

5min

Getting Good at Failure and Dealing with Disappointment

7min

Embracing Failure for Growth and Success

25min

Understanding and Coping with Failure

5min

One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with disappointment and cope with failures big and small. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss what it looks like to experience failure not as falling short, but as an opportunity for growth. They explore cultural narratives around "failure," individual variation in sensitivity, and how to manage the pain of failure, adapt expectations, and develop systems of feedback to allow for a greater sense of ease and purpose.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: What do we mean by failure?

5:55: How loss works in the brain and what makes us sensitive to losing

8:30: Managing expectations of success

10:30: Attributional styles

13:10: How some can handle failure with greater ease than others

22:30: Deconstructing old narratives and failure as an opportunity for learning

28:30: Managing the pain of failure and setting up feedback systems

34:20: An example from Forrest’s experience

38:20: Poor decisions, lack of foresight, losing your nerve

40:30: Willingness to take risks

45:00: Defining our notion of success and failure via process vs. outcome

48:20: Recap

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Have a question for us?

Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.

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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Coping with Failure, and Dealing with Disappointment