Gay Men Going Deeper

Why Can’t I Stay Hard? Diving into the Psychology of Erectile Dysfunction

7 snips
Mar 13, 2025
Shay Doran, a men's coach specializing in sexual performance anxiety, shares his journey and insights on erectile dysfunction. They discuss how societal pressures and hookup culture create unique challenges for gay men. Shay explores the psychological factors behind performance anxiety, the impact of childhood shame, and the cycle of secrecy surrounding these issues. Listeners learn practical solutions, the importance of communication, and how to foster emotional connections for better experiences. This transformative conversation helps reduce shame and empowers men to reclaim their sexual health.
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INSIGHT

Gay Men Face Higher ED Rates

  • Gay men experience higher rates of erection problems according to reputable studies cited in the episode.
  • Shame and silence make the issue worse by preventing help-seeking.
ANECDOTE

Hookups, Porn, And A Coaching Breakthrough

  • Shay linked years of meaningless hookups and porn to his own erection and self-worth problems.
  • A coaching breakthrough exposed how sex had become tied to his sense of worth and started his recovery journey.
ADVICE

Shift From Sex-For-Worth To Connection

  • Address sex-related low self-worth by exploring beliefs: are you using sex to feel worthy?
  • Replace performance-driven sex with connection-focused values to reduce anxiety and rebuild confidence.
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