At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 127 - How to Manage PDA Child Equalizing on the Walk to School
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Sep 16, 2025 A mother shares her challenges with her PDA child's controlling behavior during their walk to school. They discuss the complexities of neurodiversity and home education. Topics include defining equalizing behavior and exploring whether lowering demands helps. The conversation shifts to coping strategies versus setting boundaries. They emphasize the importance of reframing the walk as a safety task and managing parental expectations. Finally, a unique two-week experiment is proposed to grant the child more autonomy and observe the outcomes.
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Equalizing Is Nervous-System Driven
- Equalizing is an autonomic behavior where a PDA child exerts control to feel above another person and prevent escalation.
- Casey frames it as a nervous-system-driven first step before full meltdown rather than willful misbehavior.
Start With Constraints
- List immovable constraints first (child ages, partner work, sensory needs) before choosing strategies.
- Use those constraints to narrow realistic options instead of chasing ideal solutions.
Map All Options Before Deciding
- Brainstorm every realistic option for the school walk (car, bike, novelty, silence, boundaries).
- Track what you already try so you can compare and choose a focused experiment.