Gay Men Going Deeper Why Can’t I Stay Hard? Diving into the Psychology of Erectile Dysfunction
Mar 13, 2025
In this conversation, men's coach Shay Doran delves into the psychological dimensions of erectile dysfunction, particularly among gay men. He reveals that societal stigma can exacerbate performance anxiety and feelings of isolation. The discussion highlights key factors, such as perfectionism, the impact of casual encounters, and the journey toward self-acceptance. Shay also emphasizes the importance of emotional connections in sexual experiences, advocating for vulnerability over mere performance. Listeners gain insights into overcoming shame and fostering intimacy.
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Shay's Story
- Shay Doran's journey with ED began with years of meaningless hookups and porn consumption, leading to performance challenges.
- This impacted his relationships and self-esteem, causing deep frustration until a coach helped him realize the root issue.
Root of the Problem
- Shay realized his struggles stemmed from using sex to feel worthy, leading to a multi-year journey of self-discovery.
- This involved examining his beliefs about sex and focusing on genuine connection rather than validation.
Porn and Conditioning
- Matt Landsiedel relates to Shay's experience and highlights the severity of ED, linking it to suicidality in some men.
- He points to unrealistic portrayals of sex in porn and cultural conditioning as significant contributors to the problem.