Playing With Fire
182 Q&A Quickie: What should I do when my partner wants gender-based rules in non-monogamy?
Dec 14, 2024
The hosts tackle the complexities of gender-based rules in non-monogamous relationships, highlighting how these often mask deeper emotional issues. They discuss the roots of jealousy and competition, emphasizing the need to address these feelings rather than applying superficial solutions. The conversation also examines societal programming and its impact on individual comfort with gender identities. Practical steps for transforming rigid rules into authentic agreements foster open communication and emotional growth.
29:42
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Quick takeaways
- Gender-based rules in non-monogamous relationships often hide deeper emotional issues like jealousy and competition rather than addressing them directly.
- Self-reflection on the roots of jealousy can lead to more authentic relational agreements that better reflect personal values over societal norms.
Deep dives
Understanding Gender-Based Rules
Creating rules based on gender or genitalia in relationships can be inherently problematic. Such rules often stem from complex feelings of competition, jealousy, or confusion regarding partners’ interactions with others of the same gender. The podcast highlights that while these feelings are valid and real, imposing restrictions rooted in gender does not address the underlying emotional issues. Instead, individuals are encouraged to explore their feelings to understand the motivations behind requests for gender-based rules.
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