Playing With Fire 232 How to Keep Going When Non-Monogamy Feels Too Hard
Feeling exhausted by non-monogamy? You're not alone! Even when we know why we chose this path, the day-to-day reality can sometimes feel overwhelming. But before you throw in the towel, let's explore what's really happening when non-monogamy feels like "too much" – and what you can do about it.
Whether you're new to non-monogamy or have been practicing for years, we all hit points where we question if the effort is worth it. The good news? There are concrete strategies you can use to build resilience and reconnect with your "why" – without burning yourself out in the process.
In this episode, we talk about:
— The difference between persisting through growth versus persisting through unnecessary pain
— How to assess whether you're genuinely at capacity or just expecting things to be easier than they realistically can be
— The importance of checking your actual capacity across different domains of life (physical, emotional, social)
— Practical ways to recognize your personal "tells" when you're becoming dysregulated
— Why the stories we tell ourselves about our exhaustion matter just as much as the exhaustion itself
— Building nervous system regulation skills to help manage relationship challenges
— The value of making meaning from difficulties rather than just trying to eliminate them
— Why it's impossible to "go back" to not knowing about relationship possibilities once you've started exploring them
— How the skills you're developing through non-monogamy benefit your growth regardless of your relationship structure
— The importance of community support when navigating relationship challenges
Resources mentioned in this episode:
— Normalizing Non-Monogamy's community resources
— Marion Woodman's The Ravaged Bridegroom
— Andrea Zanin's Post Non-Monogamy and Beyond
Playing With Fire has been featured at #3 in FeedSpot's list of the Top 25 Non-monogamy Podcasts!
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Music: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions