In this podcast, Matt and Joe Makston discuss mentoring the next generation of gay men by sharing their leadership experiences in the community and exploring the skills needed for healthy relationships. They delve into the challenges of coming out in a rule-based church environment and the importance of platonic intimacy and mentorship in creating a positive gay experience for the next generation.
Mentorship from older gay individuals offers support, guidance, and a sense of belonging in navigating societal challenges and developing healthy relationships.
Embracing vulnerability, authenticity, and diverse leadership styles can inspire individuals to be their true selves, challenge norms, and address issues like hypersexuality and substance use within the gay community.
Addressing the need for normalized conversations, understanding, and acceptance of diverse identities is crucial for providing a supportive foundation for self-discovery, healing, and healthy community dynamics.
Deep dives
Importance of Finding Mentors in the Gay Community
Having mentorship and guidance from older, experienced individuals in the gay community can significantly impact one's journey, offering support, advice, and a sense of belonging. Mentors can provide insights on navigating societal challenges, self-acceptance, and developing healthy relationships, filling the gap for those lacking positive role models. This mentorship helps individuals find their voice, normalize their experiences, and create supportive networks for personal growth and community empowerment.
Significance of Authentic Leadership in the Gay Community
Leadership within the gay community plays a crucial role in creating inclusive spaces, fostering emotional literacy, and promoting healthy relationships beyond mainstream stereotypes. By embracing vulnerability, authenticity, and diverse leadership styles, individuals can inspire others to be their true selves, challenge norms, and address issues such as hypersexuality and substance use. Cultivating a culture of mentorship and empowerment can enhance collective well-being and encourage personal growth.
Challenges of Mentorship and Coming Out
Reflecting on the mentorship one wished for during the coming out process reveals the lack of safe spaces, guidance, and open dialogue within conservative and rule-based environments. Facing shame, guilt, and the absence of supportive mentors hinder individual growth and acceptance. Addressing the need for normalized conversations, understanding, and acceptance of diverse identities becomes essential in providing a supportive foundation for self-discovery, healing, and fostering healthy community dynamics.
Navigating Gay Relationships and Community
Finding depth in gay relationships through online connections and practical advice on relationships leads to a world of education. Embracing nonconformity and discernment in relationships helps in personal growth. Recognizing the need for time and resilience in therapy to address shame and self-acceptance is crucial for personal development.
Mentoring and Platonic Intimacy in the Gay Community
Creating platonic intimacy involves setting boundaries and expectations while fostering curiosity and emotional validation. Embracing platonic connections beyond sexual aspects allows for deeper forms of intimacy and mentorship. Resetting the narrative around the gay experience and practicing different ways of connecting can enrich relationships and community experiences.
In this episode, Matt speaks with leadership and culture consultant, speaker, coach, and best-selling author Joe Makston about mentoring the next generation of gay men.
They both share their experiences with leadership/mentorship in their process of coming out. They also unpack how to best become mentors for the next generation so we can end the intense suffering our community endures. It’s through our own healing that we can lead others in their healing; this conversation shines light on how we can best do this as a community.
The questions and concepts discussed in this episode are:
Explore the community that was created for us by the previous generation
What has been your experience with leadership in the gay community? (Pros and cons)
What type of mentorship did you have or wish you had when you were coming out?
How can we have platonic intimacy when the connection calls for it?
What are the skills that are required to thrive in the gay community or have healthy relationships with other gay men?
How can we best mentor the next generation to have a positive gay experience?