All In The Mind

The baby decision — how to decide when you can't decide

Feb 8, 2025
Merle Bombardieri, a licensed clinical social worker and decision coach with extensive experience, delves into the complexities of the baby decision. She explores societal pressures and emotional challenges that couples face, especially in light of modern issues like climate change. Merle introduces a 'chair dialogue' exercise to help individuals reconcile conflicting desires about parenthood. The conversation also touches on the rising acceptance of child-free living and the increasing trend of one-child families, urging listeners to trust their instincts.
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ANECDOTE

Merle's Baby Decision

  • In 1970, Merle Bombardieri, a psychology student, rejected her boyfriend's proposal due to differing views on having children.
  • After 18 months of reflection and observing working mothers, she changed her mind and later had two children.
INSIGHT

Shifting Conversations

  • In the 1970s, few discussed not having children except for zero population growth advocates.
  • Merle's book addressed the then-untapped topic of parenthood indecision, driven by rising divorce rates and women's career aspirations.
INSIGHT

Modern Parenthood Concerns

  • Modern concerns about parenthood include environmental impact, mental load, and terror of pregnancy amplified by the internet.
  • Millennials and Gen Z express greater fear of pregnancy than previous generations, potentially due to online horror stories.
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