The Couples Therapist Couch 243: Commitment in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel
May 19, 2025
Discover the intricacies of commitment in couples therapy, especially for those on the brink of divorce. Explore the challenges posed by discernment counseling and learn how to assist partners when one is leaning out. The discussion highlights the importance of setting goals and expectations early in therapy. Additionally, delve into an engaging community for professionals, complete with resources for real-time feedback and consultations.
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Ask Clients About True Commitment
- Ask clients directly if they truly want to work on their relationship, with compassion and honesty.
- Give them permission to leave the relationship if that's their authentic choice, reducing pressure to stay.
Spot Leaning Out Partner Early
- Recognize the dynamic when one partner is leaning out while the other is fully committed.
- This imbalance often leads to therapy dropout if not identified early.
Leaning In Partner’s Complaints Push Away
- A partner leaning in criticized the other, who then distanced further and resisted therapy.
- The leaning out partner's body language revealed they couldn't hear the complaints.