Meredith for Real: the curious introvert Ep. 324: The Hoarder Within Us: The Psychology of Our Stuff [REMASTERED]
Dr. David Tolin is the Founder & Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, the author of over 200 scientific journal articles & even received the Award for Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the CT Psychological Association, but you may recognize him from the reality TV series Hoarders, The OCD Project or My Shopping Addiction. In this episode he shares what diagnosing hoarding disorder looks like, what brain scans reveal & the myth of trauma.
This episode originally aired November 27, 2023.
If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 208: TRIGGER WARNINGS: MAKING US FRAGILE OR HELPING US HEAL?
Guest:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidtolin/
Host:
https://www.meredithforreal.com/
https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/
https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal
https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert
Sponsors:
https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/
https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/
02:38 — How common hoarding really is
04:05 — When clutter ≠ hoarding disorder
05:00 — Why letting go feels painful
06:02 — What actually causes hoarding
08:00 — Attention, cognition, vulnerability
10:00 — Why empathy changes everything
11:05 — ADHD, brain scans, and myths
14:10 — The “salience network” explained
15:05 — Why clutter fades into the background
16:00 — When every object feels urgent
17:05 — Decision-making becomes unbearable
18:10 — Avoidance as survival strategy
20:00 — Why animal hoarding is different
23:00 — What people actually hoard
24:00 — When hoarding becomes extreme
25:10 — Digital hoarding counts too
26:05 — Emails, photos, and emotional pain
27:00 — Objects as identity
30:15 — The downward arrow technique
31:20 — Why therapists and patients talk past each other
32:15 — Anthropomorphizing our stuff
33:20 — Why kids’ toys still haunt us
34:15 — Grief as an accelerant
35:20 — Stuff as memory protection
36:10 — Acquiring as mood regulation
37:10 — When retail therapy backfires
38:15 — Emotion regulation gone wrong
39:10 — Compassion without enabling
40:05 — Boundaries that don’t abandon
41:10 — Why insight takes repetition
42:15 — Therapy isn’t one magic moment
43:10 — How to stay anchored in reality
44:05 — Questions that interrupt impulse
45:10 — Why self-questioning works better
46:15 — What “success” actually looks like
47:15 — Managing vs curing hoarding
48:10 — Exposure therapy in real life
49:10 — TJ Maxx as a trigger
50:05 — Sitting with discomfort on purpose
51:10 — Rewriting your relationship with stuff
52:05 — How hoarding changed his own habits
53:10 — Keeping what truly serves you
54:05 — Buried in Treasures and next steps
55:10 — Final reflections on stuff and self
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