Explore the complexities of therapy and the common feelings of confusion and messiness in the process. Discover why we sometimes crave attention from a ‘favorite person’ and how this relates to emotional dependence and fear of abandonment. The impact of family dynamics, particularly with controlling parents, is also examined, emphasizing the importance of self-care and independence. Learn how isolation can harm us while connection and support play crucial roles in our healing journey.
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insights INSIGHT
Messiness Is Part Of Therapy
Therapy often feels messy and open-ended because you need space to 'dump' feelings and make sense of them.
Kati Morton explains that the patient leads the session because they are the expert on their experience.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Lead Sessions And Expect Messiness
Lead the conversation in therapy and share what matters to you because the therapist's job is to listen and guide.
Expect early sessions to feel messy; that usually lessens as you and your therapist make a shared plan.
insights INSIGHT
Structure Emerges From A Shared Plan
Structured therapies (DBT, CBT) provide more guided conversation and homework, while many therapies remain exploratory.
Therapy often starts by helping you make a 'list' of issues which then organizes treatment and reduces the messy feeling.
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This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton discusses how to know if we are doing therapy “right” and why it can feel so unstructured at times. She then dives into why we can want certain people to worry about us, how isolation can help us and also hurt us, and the effects of having a narcissistic mother and being the eldest daughter.
Ask Kati Anything ep. 248 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Audience questions:
1. I just started therapy at my university, but whenever I think about what I discussed with my therapist and replay the whole conversation after each session, I always wonder whether I'm doing it right. It just feels kind of messy and I feel like I'm all over the place when talking to my therapist. I have never experienced therapy before and I don't know what it's like, so I really don't know if it's going the way it's supposed to. It also feels like I'm... 00:38
2. Why do I want certain people to worry about me? I always have a person, usually it’s only one person at a time, that I get super obsessed with and that I think about 24/7. This is not in a romantic way, it could be but not necessarily. They are all I think about, and I crave their attention a lot, and I also get really jealous when they spend time with other people and I am super sensitive to how they treat me. They can make me feel super happy or really sad. I also want them to worry about me, I think because I ... 08:20
3. Can you please talk about how traumatized ppl use self isolation as a coping mechanism, but that sometimes becomes a negative cornerstone of their personality making connection harder…. Also could you share some tips as to how traumatized individuals can begin updating that personality trait to become engaged and open to the world. 14:07
4. My question contains a lot of context so please bear with me and I'm sorry in advance for the essay. I've been struggling A LOT for the past two years with binge eating, anxiety, depression, and dissociation. After a previous attempt to seek therapy, which didn’t go well (because I was 16 and my mom freaked out and was so stigmatized and when I also talked about it to one of my closest friends and my friend suggested that I go to therapy, my mom happened to read at the texts and told me "see, now your friend thinks you're crazy!"), but anyway, I finally took the step to seek therapy as I've turned 18 and started university and I had 2 sessions so far, and it's all started after my prof encouraged me to go down that path and honestly, she is the sweetest person ever and she is the only... 19:45
PUBLISHED BOOKS
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Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)
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