Heart of Dating

S16 Ep273: Pacing and Boundaries: How Fast is Too Fast?

Sep 3, 2025
Join Pastor Stephen Chandler, a relationship expert and author of "Relationship Roadmap," as he dives into the pitfalls of fast-paced Christian dating. He discusses how rushing into relationships often leads to burnout and shares insights on the importance of building true friendship first. Stephen warns against early spiritual intimacy and encourages couples to date ethically, take time before commitment, and observe spiritual character. With practical advice on recognizing red flags, he emphasizes pacing and boundaries in the quest for meaningful connections.
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ANECDOTE

Six-Hour First Date That Stuck

  • Stephen Chandler's first date with his wife lasted six hours and seemed risky.
  • That quick start still led to 12 years of marriage and three children.
INSIGHT

Dating Too Long Distorts Decisions

  • Long dating slows life decisions and creates 'abnormal marriage' habits.
  • Dating past two years risks making marriage-like choices without commitment.
ADVICE

Use Four-Month Dating Sprints

  • Run a 4-month sprint model: friendship, values/goals, and nitty-gritty checks across stages.
  • Extend stages for younger daters; aim for 12–18 months total before engagement.
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