Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting 2863: Feeling Unloved: "You Don't Love Me, Nobody Loves Me" by Vironika Tugaleva on Self Worth
Jan 10, 2026
Explore the journey of self-worth and the often unseen roots of feeling unloved. Delve into the impact of the inner critic and how it shapes our perceptions of relationships. Discover how temporary validations can lead to dependency and heartbreak. Reflect on the patterns that emerge from unresolved inner wounds and how they can repeat across different aspects of life. Experience a powerful turning point as one learns to turn self-hatred into self-compassion, ultimately redefining the relationship with oneself.
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Pain Originates In Inner Tapes
- Vironika realized other people weren't the root cause of her pain; her inner tapes were preexisting and merely triggered by others.
- This reframes relationships from blaming external actors to noticing internal wounds that shape perception.
First Relationship As Temporary Salvation
- Her first lover felt like a savior who made her feel beautiful, accepted, and alive, creating an addictive relief from self-loathing.
- That intense attachment later collapsed as normal life returned and her inner critic resurfaced.
When Fairy Tales Turned Violent
- As life normalized, absence left her alone with the same self-loathing she hadn't noticed, which she blamed on him and reacted to angrily.
- His drinking and their violent fights culminated in her leaving, repeating the cycle in future relationships.