Something You Should Know

How to Truly Know People & The Science Behind the Human/Dog Bond-SYSK Choice

24 snips
Dec 13, 2025
David Brooks, a New York Times columnist and author, discusses the art of truly knowing people and highlights the importance of skills like active listening and meaningful conversation. He reveals how societal changes have led to increased loneliness and disconnection while emphasizing simple acts of warmth that enhance connections. Jen Golbeck, an expert in the human-canine bond, explains how dogs provide unique social support and improve our mental health. She also shares insights on choosing the right dog and the emotional impact of pet loss.
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INSIGHT

We Are Bad At Knowing Others

  • People typically understand strangers' minds only about 22% of the time and friends about 35% of the time.
  • David Brooks calls this widespread lack of understanding an "epidemic of blindness" in relationships.
ADVICE

Practice Active, Curious Listening

  • Be a loud listener: show active engagement with verbal cues and attention while someone speaks.
  • Avoid being a "topper" and focus questions on the other person instead of shifting conversation to yourself.
ADVICE

Talk To Strangers More Often

  • Try talking to a stranger when given the chance; most people report immediate boosts in happiness.
  • People underestimate how much they'll enjoy brief, genuine conversations, regardless of introversion.
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