#076 - Dark side of dating apps, heartbreak, raw attachment style truths - w/ Rebecca Archer
Mar 18, 2024
auto_awesome
Exploring the dark side of dating apps, heartbreak, and attachment styles with poet Rebecca Archer. They discuss setting boundaries, channeling experiences into poetry, and the gritty realities of 'situation ships'. Reflecting on modern dating, disposability, and lack of emotional intimacy in online interactions.
Dating apps bring unnatural pressures and disrupt authentic connections.
Exploring attachment styles through writing can lead to self-discovery.
Heartbreak can spark personal growth, emphasizing vulnerability and communication in relationships.
Deep dives
Exploring the Importance of Genuine Solo Podcast Episodes
Focusing on the value of solo podcast episodes, the speaker expresses a preference for authentic, raw storytelling over guest episodes. They emphasize the intimacy and connection created when podcasters share personal experiences in real time, highlighting how guest episodes can disrupt this unique bond.
Unveiling Personal Insights through Writing and Therapy
Discussing the therapeutic benefits of writing and journaling, the speaker reveals how journaling during a therapy journey led to profound self-discoveries. They reflect on uncovering attachment styles through writing and therapy, recognizing patterns like anxious attachment and fantasy bonding. Through writing, they explored deeper aspects of their emotional vulnerabilities and relationship dynamics.
Navigating Dating Apps' Impact on Intimacy and Boundaries
Delving into the influence of dating apps on relationships, the conversation touches on the unnatural behaviors and pressures instigated by such platforms. The speaker shares insights on setting boundaries, pacing relationships, and valuing emotional intimacy over immediate physical connections. They highlight the importance of prioritizing personal happiness, asserting boundaries, and seeking compatibility in romantic interactions.
Recognizing Patterns in Relationships
The podcast delves into the importance of recognizing patterns in relationships, particularly how past experiences and childhood upbringing can influence our behavior in romantic relationships. The episode highlights the significance of honest self-reflection and understanding one's attachment style to navigate relationships effectively. By acknowledging individual patterns and traumas, the podcast emphasizes the need for open communication, setting boundaries, and practicing vulnerability to foster healthier connections.
Navigating Heartbreak and Growth
The conversation expands to discuss the profound impact of heartbreak on personal growth and self-discovery. Both speakers share personal experiences and reflections on navigating heartbreak, grief, and longing for deeper connections. They emphasize the value of embracing vulnerability, practicing self-expression, and addressing unresolved emotions in fostering authentic relationships. The episode concludes with a focus on intentional communication, active listening, and individual empowerment as keys to building fulfilling and meaningful connections.
I have my thoughts about what it means to love and be loved in the modern world. What's the real cost of swiping right? Is there truth to attachment styles or has it become a (Western) collective obsession? Is the dating scene really as demotivating and disturbing as people say?
In this special episode, I'm joined by someone I've wanted to speak to for a while; the ever-insightful Rebecca Archer. Rebecca, a poet whose words bleed raw emotion, shares her battlefield stories from the front lines of dating apps. She talks about the art of setting boundaries, the seismic shifts caused by heartbreak, and how she channels her experiences into her poetry.
Listen in and hear how we don't shy away from the gritty realities of "situation ships" and the relentless pursuit of a connection that's not just skin deep.
Rebecca Archer (Instagram @wandering_in_heels), recently published her first poetry book, Heartbreak, which explores themes in modern day dating. The book documents a decade of being single and is themed around the seven deadly sins of the human heart, such as lust and envy.
Taking some artistic licence, Rebecca repositioned the sin of “pride” in a positive way in the final chapter of the book, interpreting it as the “dignity” she eventually found. By exploring negative romantic experiences and dysfunctional relationship-forming patterns, Rebecca has been able to approach the search for love with more accountability and self-respect.
Rebecca says, " I do hope that by candidly sharing my experiences of modern dating, I will help others feel less lost and alone. I firmly believe that we attract the love we believe we deserve. For years, I thought I only deserved “scraps”, and so that is what I settled for. Once I learnt to stop being turned on by romantic ambiguity, and started to see stability and security as sexy, everything changed. Never forget: you are worthy of love."
You can follow Rebecca Archer on Instagram: @wandering_in_heels
Heartbreak is available to buy now at:wordsbyrebeccaarcher.com Heartbreak was written by Rebecca Archer. Designed and published by Couper Street Books. Edited by Susannah Saary. Hand-finished in London by Book Works UK.
If you found this valuable - be sure to follow, RATE, subscribe, leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and share this podcast with your pals, family, and community - let's not withhold transformation from each other.
You can also connect with me directly over on Instagram, I'd love to continue the conversation with you - @africabrooke or you can email me at hello@africabrooke.com with the subject line 'Beyond the Self'. I can't wait to hear from you!
PLEASE NOTE: I do not give advice in DM's, emails, or comments, but I'd love to hear your feedback and know what your lightbulb moments or breakthroughs were. It also lights me up when you tag me in the screenshots of you listening, do continue!
Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts
Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.
