Eric Barker, author of "Plays Well With Others," delves into the quirks of relationships with humor and insight, exploring his own journey from social awkwardness to understanding. He emphasizes the true value of friendships, revealing that time spent with friends can boost happiness as much as financial gain. Barker critiques conventional relationship advice and discusses the mechanics of love, likening it to mental health. Together with Paneo Giannopoulos, they stress the importance of vulnerability, meaningful conversations, and belonging for a fulfilling life.
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insights INSIGHT
Author's Low Agreeableness
Eric Barker, author of "Plays Well with Others," admits to his poor people skills.
He scored a 4 out of 100 on an agreeableness test, a key personality trait.
insights INSIGHT
Value of Friendship
Spending more time with friends increases happiness, equivalent to a $97,000 yearly raise.
Friendships bring direct emotional connection and boost happiness more than spousal relationships.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Friendships Fade in 30s
Paneo Giannopoulos observes that friendships often decline in one's 30s due to family and career demands.
This neglect occurs despite friendships being essential for happiness.
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The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong
Eric Barker
In 'Plays Well with Others,' Eric Barker challenges conventional wisdom about relationships by leveraging scientific research. The book explores various aspects of human relationships, including friendship, love, and community, and provides insights from notable researchers like Dr. John Gottman. Barker discusses how to build deeper friendships, avoid common pitfalls in romantic relationships, and cultivate meaningful connections. The book is filled with engaging stories and counterintuitive findings to help readers improve their social skills and relationships.
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong
Eric Barker
In 'Barking Up the Wrong Tree,' Eric Barker challenges common misconceptions about success by presenting both sides of various arguments. The book is divided into six chapters, each exploring dichotomous views on success, such as whether playing it safe or taking risks is more beneficial, whether nice guys finish first or last, and whether quitters never win or winners never quit. Barker draws on a wide range of examples, including stories from Navy SEALs, top comedians, and historical figures, to illustrate his points. He emphasizes the importance of factors like creativity, passion, obsession, and perseverance in achieving real-world success, rather than just following rules and achieving good grades.
Eric Barker is not a people person. “Getting me to write a relationship book,” he says, “is like asking Godzilla to improve the infrastructure in your city.” But he did it anyway. Guided by leading social psychologists, Eric went on a journey to understand what he was getting wrong about relationships — and what he could do to turn things around. The result is “Plays Well With Others,” a guide to friendship, intimacy, loneliness, and belonging that our curator Daniel Pink says will “revitalize your life.”
The Next Big Idea 
