“Ultimate Poser”: That’s how Rob describes himself when he was at the height of his sexual addiction. Take a listen as Steve and James start not at the beginning, but at the bottom of Rob’s story as he shares how working through fears and loss. Rob describes how ultimately his path led to him to discovering, not the guy not on either side of his poser life, but the third guy who God wanted him to be.
Rob was married with three children, working as an employee of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He felt he had a testimony of the gospel and thought he was connecting with his wife yet at the same time continued to act out in his sexual addiction. He and his wife had begun the road to recovery but Rob was not changing. The moment he was caught by the police when soliciting a prostitute brought him to his therapist’s door in the middle of one of his sessions. After waiting hours to talk to his therapist, Rob was told in his therapy session, “you can either change your life or you will end it, it’s your choice.”
Rob chose change. Deciding to be honest brought the realization of all of his fears. In the aftermath, while sitting in his parents basement, he recognized he was still alive despite all of his pain. He somehow found the strength to ask, “What do I really believe in?”, “Who do I think I am?”, “What does God think of me?” and began to search for the answers.
Rob shares a tender experience how he witnessed the pain his choices and actions had inflicted on his wife. Rob has found sobriety. Yet his story shows us life in recovery is not black and white. Healing brought divorce, then dating, and ultimately a beautiful second marriage.
On the other side of Rob’s poser life he speaks truth. With years of sobriety he has found a new purpose working as a therapist for Lifestar. Rob feels God has given him the gift to speak to the hearts of men about love and being worthy of God’s love.
Does Rob’s story of his former poser life resonate with you? If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you! Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid