The Psychology of your 20s 347. The psychology of revenge
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Oct 28, 2025 Delve into the intoxicating urge for revenge and discover why it often backfires. Explore the evolutionary roots of revenge and how critical factors like control and justice fuel our desires even today. Learn the difference between impulsive and calculated revenge, and why the latter is often linked to personality traits. Hear listener stories illustrating the complexities of revenge and its emotional toll. Finally, find out healthier alternatives like radical empathy and acceptance to regain control and peace.
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Revenge Feels Rewarding For Evolutionary Reasons
- Revenge activates the dorsal striatum, the same reward area engaged by chocolate, money, and praise.
- Evolutionarily, revenge reinforced social rules and deterred exploitation in small groups.
Payback Restores Control But Not Closure
- Fantasizing about payback restores a sense of control and agency after betrayal.
- But research shows revenge rarely provides true emotional closure and can prolong rumination.
Impulsive Retaliation Backfires Emotionally
- Impulsive revenge is driven by the amygdala and offers fleeting reward followed by regret.
- Such reactive acts strengthen negative self-processing once the adrenaline fades.