I Love You Keep Going with George Haas Working with Disorganized Attachment: The Push-Pull Cycle
Sep 19, 2025
Explore the intricate world of disorganized attachment, where the desire for closeness clashes with a fear of intimacy. The discussion highlights the push-pull cycle driven by trauma and unpredictability in relationships. Gain insights into withdrawal behaviors and the patterns that emerge with different attachment styles, particularly with dismissive partners. Discover practical steps to rebuild trust and model secure relationships, emphasizing boundaries and reliability. This enlightening conversation offers a pathway toward healthier connections.
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30% Rule For Earning Secure Attachment
- Secure attachment needs a caregiver who shows up about 30% of the time or better.
- Anything below that threshold increases risk of insecure or disorganized patterns.
Disorganized Attachment Is A Spectrum
- Disorganized attachment spans fearfully preoccupied to complexly disorganized patterns.
- Complexly disorganized people can switch strategies, making them unpredictable in relationships.
Unpredictability Comes From Not Feeling Safe
- Disorganized people act unpredictably because they don't feel safe and can't rely on regulated responses.
- That unpredictability makes reliable communication and intimate relationships difficult.