Modern Wisdom #122 - Buster Benson - How To Argue With Someone
11 snips
Nov 25, 2019 Buster Benson, entrepreneur and author of "Why Are We Yelling? The Art of Productive Disagreement," shares insights on navigating conflicts. He discusses strategies for effective communication, emphasizing the need for rationality and empathy. Buster introduces eight practices for constructive arguing and highlights the technique of 'steel manning'—presenting the strongest version of opposing views. The conversation tackles the challenges of engaging in meaningful discussions in today's polarized environment and advocates for curiosity and open-mindedness.
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Defining Disagreement
- A disagreement arises when a difference in perspectives becomes unacceptable to at least one person.
- It's not the difference itself, but the refusal to accept the other's view that creates conflict.
Watch for Anxiety Triggers
- Notice what triggers anxiety in disagreements to understand the perceived threat.
- Ask if the other person intended the perceived threat; many disagreements stem from misinterpretations.
Internal Voices
- Recognize your internal voices: power (forcing your view), logic (using reason), and avoidance (escaping the conversation).
- Understand when each voice is appropriate; avoidance often leads to frustration from unmet desires for effectiveness.
