Matt Monday, expert in stopping addictive thoughts about someone, discusses the dangers of overvaluing initial charm, the importance of letting a relationship prove itself, and recognizing negative patterns in a person's behavior in order to avoid future heartbreak.
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Quick takeaways
Addictive thoughts about someone who is not right for you often stem from a narrow perception and overvaluation of the person's qualities.
If a person consistently brings emotional highs and hangovers, lacks stability and consistency, and repeatedly breaks our hearts, we must acknowledge that they are not a healthy choice for us and treat them as we would a harmful drug.
Deep dives
Recognizing the addictive thoughts
Addictive thoughts about someone who is not right for you often stem from a narrow perception and overvaluation of the person's qualities. We create fantasies and concoct ideas of a great connection based on fleeting moments and charm. However, it is essential to root our thoughts in reality and assess whether the relationship truly meets our needs.
Understanding attachment styles
Attachment styles play a role in relationships, but it is vital to strike a balance. While it is natural to have certain needs and gravitate towards specific affections and connections, it is not someone else's responsibility to make us feel okay. We should work on ourselves while seeking someone who aligns with our core needs and desires.
Seeing addictive thoughts as a drug
Addictive thoughts aren't limited to substances; they can also manifest in relationships. The rush of dopamine or oxytocin we feel in certain interactions can become addictive. It is crucial to recognize that if a person consistently brings emotional highs and hangovers, lacks stability and consistency, and repeatedly breaks our hearts, we must acknowledge that they are not a healthy choice for us and treat them as we would a harmful drug.
“How can I stop addictive thoughts about someone who’s wrong for me?” When we really like someone but know there are signs of problems, we’ll often overvalue them for their charisma and charm . . . and set ourselves up for massive future heartbreak. If you find yourself getting fixated on someone too quickly—trying to make them fit into a relationship based on who they could be—then watch this week’s episode (taken from my Live Retreat) to figure out when someone is truly worthy of your investment. --- ►► Discover the 4 Secrets for Escaping Casual Dating Traps. Claim Your FREE PASS for my Dating With Results Training. . . → http://www.DatingWithResults.com
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