Should you stay with a toxic partner for your child's sake? Dealing with betrayal and forgiveness. Feeling unappreciated after caring for family. Exploring toxic relationships with narcissistic traits. Navigating codependency and addiction in a marriage. Handling unethical individuals in relationships and business dealings.
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Quick takeaways
Decide whether to reconcile with a narcissistic addict husband or prioritize your well-being and that of your child.
Find closure by forgiving a friend who betrayed you in a scam, questioning if forgiveness was the best choice.
Reflect on feeling undervalued and underappreciated for years of caring for a late mother's boyfriend.
Navigate boundaries and expectations when labeled as a vendor instead of a guest at a family wedding.
Deep dives
Family Neglect and Unappreciation
The writer's family did not help care for their mom's boyfriend before and after her passing, taking on most responsibilities themselves. Despite this, they are treated as just the 'help' by their mom's boyfriend's family. The writer is asked to bring their mom's boyfriend to a family wedding as a favor, only to be listed as a vendor without full wedding privileges. They question the obligation to provide a gift or money, feeling undervalued and considering sending an invoice post-event.
Unfair Treatment at the Micro-Wedding
The writer is shocked to be designated as a vendor rather than a guest at a family wedding and not provided a proper invitation or details. Despite their close relationship with their mom's boyfriend, they are excluded from the guest list and treated unfairly in the context of the micro-wedding. The writer is contemplating their obligation to give a gift or monetary contribution and pondering the idea of sending an invoice for taking care of the boyfriend.
Reflections on Family Dynamics
The writer reflects on the family dynamics surrounding their involvement in caring for their mom's boyfriend and the subsequent treatment they receive. Despite stepping up to assist on a daily basis, other family members have neglected responsibilities and failed to acknowledge the writer's efforts. The writer navigates feelings of being used and underappreciated amidst the family's actions.
Evaluating Relationship Boundaries
The writer contemplates the boundaries and expectations within their relationship with their mom's boyfriend and his family. They grapple with being labeled as a vendor at the wedding and not a guest, highlighting feelings of being marginalized and unacknowledged despite their efforts. The writer questions the appropriate response in the face of perceived disrespect and ponder's their role moving forward.
Concerns about the Relationship Intensity
The daughter's intense online relationship with a 23-year-old man raises questions about the amount of time spent together and their sleep habits. The relationship's all-consuming nature, including leaving phones on during sleep and planned in-person meetings, prompts the mother's anxiety and suspicion, leading her to seek reassurance about the boyfriend's character and intentions.
Precautions and Parental Involvement
The mother takes various precautions, like separate accommodations and a tracking plan, for her daughter's planned visit to meet the boyfriend in a different state. Involvement and communication with the boyfriend, setting security measures, and arranging contingencies are part of the thoughtful and responsible approach to ensure safety and address fears and uncertainties.
Emphasizing Daughter's Autonomy
While grappling with fear and anxiety, the mother demonstrates a delicate balance between safeguarding her daughter and empowering her autonomy. Encouraging her to make informed decisions, fostering trust while preparing for risks, and recognizing the daughter's transition into adulthood are key aspects shaping their evolving relationship dynamics.
Should you endure a toxic marriage for the sake of your son's relationship with his father, or run for the hills while you can? Welcome to Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
You're contemplating leaving your narcissistic addict husband due to his poor treatment of you and your child, but you feel trapped financially and concerned about your son losing his father. Should you try to reconcile and accept him the way he is, or run for the hills while you can?
Betrayed by a lifelong friend who used you in an eBay scam and left you financially accountable to his victims, you found closure years later at a party by forgiving him and letting go of your own negative emotions about the situation. But you can't help but wonder if you should've just punched him in the face. Did you do the right thing?
After years of caring for your late mother's boyfriend like family, you feel disrespected when you're labeled as a vendor at a granddaughter's wedding, highlighting the family's lack of appreciation for your efforts. Are you still expected to bring a gift, or should you send them an invoice the day after the wedding for taking care of their grandfather?
Your close relationship with your daughter's ex-boyfriend, now reformed from the issues that facilitated their breakup, causes tension with your married daughter, forcing you to choose between transparency or secrecy to preserve your bond. Should you continue to "sneak around" with your daughter's ex, or just be honest and let the chips fall where they may?
You're a Canadian mom worried about your 18-year-old daughter's real-life meetup with the 23-year-old American boyfriend she met online. How can you ensure her safety (on the off-chance he might be a human trafficker or drug fiend) without damaging your relationship by being seen as overbearing?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!