Explore the concept of burnout through a humorous fable about fish in a tank. Learn about unusual behaviors in the tank, the impact of over-functioning and burnout on self-differentiation, and strategies to lead through self-differentiation and avoid burnout.
Over-functioning can lead to burnout as it disrupts the equilibrium of the system and prevents others from dealing with their own issues.
Leaders who practice self-differentiation and focus on their own goals and values can avoid burnout and create positive change in the system.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Scavenger Fish and Burnout
The fable introduces a scavenger fish that stops taking crap from others, disrupting the equilibrium of the fish tank. The scavenger fish represents an over-functioner who cleans up everyone's messes and prevents anxiety from permeating the system. When the fish stops over-functioning, others in the tank become dysfunctional and disoriented, unable to deal with their own crap. The moral of the story is that over-functioning leads to burnout. This fable highlights the resistance of the system to change and the unintentional sabotage by individuals to restore the previous balance.
Leadership and the Anxiety Trap
The fable explores the role of leadership and self-differentiation in preventing burnout. When leaders both over-function and adapt to others' behavior, the system becomes dependent on their efforts to maintain equilibrium. However, when leaders self-differentiate and focus on taking responsibility for themselves, they encourage others to do the same. This requires recognizing the boundaries between oneself and others and not over-functioning to fix others' issues. Engaging in conflicts of will, trying to convince others or get involved in triangles, leads to emotional exhaustion and resistance from the system. Leadership through self-differentiation allows for positive change and encourages others in the system to define themselves in healthier ways.
Leading Through Self-Differentiation to Avoid Burnout
To avoid burnout, leaders should practice self-differentiation and be non-anxious presences. By focusing on their own goals, values, and communication, leaders can conserve energy and influence the system positively. Rather than trying to convince others or make them agree, leaders who self-differentiate encourage others to expend energy to maintain the previous status quo. Remaining connected to anxious individuals, caring for them while holding firm to personal beliefs, can lead to lasting change. By leading through self-differentiation, leaders flip the energy dynamics of the system and have a greater chance of avoiding burnout and creating positive change.
The Friedman's Fable, "Burnout," is both humorous and instructive. Here's my take on the family systems dynamics of burnout, as well as how to avoid it.