The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#199 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire

833 snips
Jul 23, 2024
Esther Perel, an internationally renowned couples therapist and author, shares her expertise on relationships and desire. She explores how personal narratives shape our experiences and the importance of initiating meaningful conversations in relationships. Perel discusses common arguments couples face and strategies to prevent them. They also delve into reviving sexual desire in long-term partnerships, the significance of effective communication, and the concept of 'conscious uncoupling' to maintain respect during relationship endings. Additionally, her parents' Holocaust survival stories add a profound layer to her insights.
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ANECDOTE

Parents' Holocaust Survival

  • Esther Perel's parents survived the Holocaust, meeting on liberation day.
  • They were from different social classes and likely wouldn't have met otherwise.
INSIGHT

Living vs. Surviving

  • Survivors often live with fear and distrust, while others embrace life with a vengeance.
  • Perel views the erotic as an antidote to death, fostering hope and imagination.
INSIGHT

Permanence vs. Impermanence

  • The idea of permanence is a fiction; everything is in constant flux.
  • Trading passion for stability trades one fiction for another, limiting relationship vitality.
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