Black Girl Burnout Opt Into Gate Openers: Stop Confusing Support with Elevation (Bonus Episode)
In this bonus “love note” episode, Kelley Bonner breaks down the crucial difference between supporters — the friends and peers who cheer you on — and gate openers, the decision-makers who can truly elevate your career. Many of us confuse the two, surrounding ourselves with cheerleaders but missing the people who can actually open doors. Kelley shares personal stories, practical tips, and a simple reflection exercise to help you identify who’s in your corner, who can advance you, and how to build relationships with intention and integrity.
Key Takeaways:
- Supporters are vital for encouragement and sustainability, but they can’t always elevate your career.
- Gate openers are decision-makers — executives, leaders, and people with power to create opportunities.
- Most of us have many supporters but very few gate openers — and that gap matters.
- A single gate opener can change your career trajectory.
- You can intentionally nurture these relationships with respect, value, and patience.
Episode Highlights:
- 00:27 – The big question: Who’s really elevating you?
- 01:23 – Supporters vs. gate openers: a career conversation throwback
- 03:13 – Defining supporters: peers, friends, colleagues who sustain you
- 05:28 – Why peers can’t always “put you on” — Kelley’s government job example
- 06:40 – Defining gate openers: leaders with decision-making authority
- 08:11 – How one gate opener changed Kelley’s career trajectory
- 10:26 – Supporters sustain you; gate openers elevate you
- 12:01 – The reality: supporters are often Black women; gate openers are often men in power
- 14:57 – Reflection exercise: make your supporters vs. gate openers list
- 16:22 – Four tips for identifying and nurturing gate openers
- 18:19 – Building relationships with integrity, not transaction
- 18:53 – Closing encouragement + Substack invitation
Let Us Know
- Take a few minutes today to write two lists: your supporters and your gate openers. Notice the gap. Then choose one potential gate opener in your orbit and begin thinking about how to nurture that relationship with intention and integrity.
Support the Show
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Stay In Touch
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