

Black Girl Burnout
Kelley Bonner
Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside. Hosted by Kelley Bonner, the show explores how burnout takes hold, why ambition doesn’t need to be abandoned but redesigned, and how joy, rest, and gentleness can coexist with meaningful work and forward movement.Through reflection, practical insight, and carefully chosen conversations, Black Girl Burnout offers both grounding and direction, helping listeners feel seen and take action toward lives that are sustainable, intentional, and their own.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jan 7, 2026 • 22min
You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Live Well
Five years into Black Girl Burnout, this season premiere serves as a manifesto and recommitment to living fully without self-abandonment. Kelley reframes burnout as more than a work issue, challenges the lie that success requires suffering, and invites listeners to build lives rooted in softness, ambition, and sustainability—without disappearing, shrinking, or betraying themselves.Key TakeawaysYou can be ambitious without being violent to yourself.Healing does not require disappearing from your life.Soft living is not weakness or laziness—it’s discernment.A meaningful life does not have to cost you your body, joy, or peace.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00–01:30 — We’re back: reflecting on five years of Black Girl Burnout and a renewed sense of clarity and purpose05:00–06:30 — “We don’t want to opt out of life—we want to opt out of harm”11:45–13:10 — What living softly actually means (and what it doesn’t)18:30–20:00 — Why you don’t have to abandon yourself to heal, succeed, or live wellA Gentle InvitationAs you move through your week, notice where you may be pushing, forcing, or overriding yourself out of habit. Ask gently: Is this supporting me—or costing me myself? Let this episode be permission to choose a rhythm that allows you to stay present in your life while still moving toward what matters to you.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 31, 2025 • 24min
You Are Allowed to Choose a Life That Doesn’t Hurt
In this manifesto-style year-end episode, Kelley closes out 2025 by naming the new foundation of Black Girl Burnout: five gentle “commandments” designed to help Black women opt out of struggle and choose softness, joy, and liberation. Reflecting on a year of global change, personal evolution, and collective exhaustion, she reframes rest, ease, joy, softness, and freedom from unnecessary pain as non-negotiable truths—not rewards. This episode sets the tone for 2026 and introduces the four pillars guiding the podcast forward: soft life liberation, practical healing for real life, joy and creative living, and sustainable money, work, and productivity without burnout.Key TakeawaysRest is not a reward—it is the first response and a necessary foundation for clarity, creativity, and survival.Ease and excellence are not opposites; joy- and ease-led living creates more sustainable success.Joy is not frivolous—it is data that helps guide decisions, boundaries, and aligned living.You are allowed to choose a life that does not hurt, even if no one around you ever has.Episode Highlights + TIMESTAMPS00:02:44 – Introducing the Black Girl Burnout Commandments and why this moment calls for a new foundation00:05:10 – Commandment #1: Rest as the first response, not the last resort00:06:30 – Commandment #2: Why ease is not the enemy of excellence00:08:09 – Commandment #3: Joy as a powerful and necessary data point00:13:00 – Commandment #5: Choosing a life that does not hurt—and opting out of inherited struggleAn Invitation for the Year AheadIf this episode resonated, choose just one commandment to carry with you into 2026. Let it be a quiet anchor rather than a checklist. And if you want to go deeper, you’re invited to join Kelley on Substack for monthly workshops and Q&A—designed with joy, ease, and sustainability at the center.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 24, 2025 • 22min
The Soft Lock-In: A December Reset Without Burnout
In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley revisits the idea of the Soft Lock-In as a gentler alternative to end-of-year hustle culture. Designed for moments of deep exhaustion and burnout, this conversation offers a compassionate December reset rooted in nervous system safety, realistic expectations, and care-first productivity.Key TakeawaysYou don’t need to “finish the year strong” — you need a reset that supports your body, not pushes it.The Soft Lock-In centers gentle consistency, not discipline, shame, or hustle.Small, nervous-system-safe actions can create meaningful emotional and energetic relief.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00–03:00 — Reframing the “lock-in” and why hustle culture no longer fits this season07:00–08:45 — Shifting from “fix your life” thinking to self-support and care09:00–13:45 — The four pillars of the Soft Lock-In: soft structure, expectations, productivity, and rest14:30–18:15 — Creating a simple December reset plan with one thing to finish, maintain, release, and rest aroundYour Gentle Reset InvitationAs you move through the end of the year, try creating your own Soft Lock-In. Choose just one thing to finish, one thing to maintain, one thing to release, and one place where you’ll stop pushing yourself to have more energy than you do. Let this be an experiment in kindness — a reminder that you’re allowed to reset softly, without earning rest or proving your worth.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 17, 2025 • 29min
Soft Life Liberation: Ending the Year Without Performing
In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley explores how empowerment has quietly shifted into performance — and why that shift is especially exhausting and harmful for Black women. She unpacks the cultural, economic, and patriarchal pressures driving hustle culture, aesthetic wellness, and performance-based worth, while offering a softer, more liberatory way forward as the year comes to a close.Key TakeawaysEmpowerment loses its power when wellness, beauty, and productivity become performances instead of choices rooted in joy.Black women are uniquely impacted by overlapping pressures to be exceptional, desirable, resilient, and endlessly productive.Grief over unmet expectations (partnership, motherhood, timelines) is valid — but it is not a measure of worth.Soft Life Liberation is about choosing ease, rest, and humanity without needing to earn them.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00–02:00 — Why ending the year softly matters, and how performance culture is fueling burnout03:00–05:15 — When wellness becomes an aesthetic and self-improvement turns into exhaustion08:49–10:00 — The unique pressure Black women face at the intersection of worth, desirability, and resilience19:54–26:00 — Introducing Soft Life Liberation and a gentle practice to release performance-based worthSoft InvitationAs you move through the end of the year, notice one message you’ve absorbed about who you “should” be. Gently ask yourself who benefits from that belief — and then offer yourself one softer truth instead. There’s no rush, no fixing required. Just space to choose ease, even in small moments.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 10, 2025 • 28min
The Great Crash Out of 2025: Why You’re So Tired (and How to Finish the Year Softly)
In this episode, Kelley names what’s really behind the collective exhaustion so many Black women are feeling: layer after layer of crisis, an overworked nervous system, and the cultural push to lock in when we barely have anything left to give. Drawing from her lived experience and burnout expertise, she breaks down the three layers of the Great Crash Out of 2025 and offers a liberatory alternative: finishing the year softly. Instead of urgency, shame, or “push harder” thinking, this conversation ushers listeners into practical softness, lowered bars, micro-permission slips, and deep rest — a grounding reset for anyone who is tired in their spirit, body, or bones.Key Takeaways (3–4 max)Nothing is wrong with you — you're living through a collective burnout event.Survival mode is incompatible with high performance, and your nervous system is doing its best to protect you.Finishing the year softly is an act of liberation, not laziness.Practical softness > performative productivity, especially in seasons of depletion.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00 — Naming the Great Crash Out of 2025Kelley opens with a clear, compassionate framing of the exhaustion so many are feeling and affirms that nothing is wrong with you.07:30 — “Me too, girl. Me too.”She shares transparently about grief, family stress, financial uncertainty, and her own nervous system overwhelm — offering shared humanity rather than performance.10:31 — Survival Mode vs. High PerformanceKelley explains why creativity, focus, and motivation go offline under chronic stress, grounding the conversation in evidence-informed truths about burnout.18:00 — The Soft Pivot: Practical Over ProductiveShe offers three soft-life strategies: lowering the bar, finishing the year softly, and giving yourself micro-permission slips.22:43 — Your Only Goal This Month: SoftenA liberatory reframing of December as a time to reclaim capacity rather than perform productivity or self-reinvention.If This Episode Spoke to You…If this episode made you feel seen, relieved, or less alone, share it with another woman who deserves softness and liberation in this season. Leave a review on Apple or Spotify to support the movement — it’s free, deeply impactful, and helps this message reach more women who need it. And stay connected across platforms at Black Girl Burnout for community, softness, and what’s coming next.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 3, 2025 • 58min
Bloom How You Must: Unlearning the Myth of Doing It All Yourself w/ Tara Pringle Jefferson
In this deeply grounding conversation, Kelley and author Tara Pringle Jefferson explore what it takes to stop “doing it all yourself” and allow support, softness, and ease into your life. Together, they unpack how burnout, community, and generational healing intertwine—and what it means to give yourself permission to bloom exactly as you are.Key TakeawaysLetting yourself be supported is not weakness—it’s relief and renewal.Community and vulnerability are essential parts of self-care and healing.Making life easier for yourself is an act of resistance, not indulgence.Blooming is both a personal and generational practice—when you flourish, others do too.Episode Highlights[00:03:00] Tara shares how burnout led her to “retire” from Team I’ll Do It By Myself—and how asking for help brought unexpected relief and community.[00:12:20] The story behind Bloom How You Must—how a Lucille Clifton poem became the heartbeat of Tara’s message about Black women’s wellness and resilience.[00:28:00] The revelation that “it’s perfectly fine to make life easier for yourself”—and how small shifts toward ease can radically change daily life.[00:45:00] Tara and Kelley discuss generational healing, honoring their mothers and grandmothers, and redefining strength through softness and humanity.Something to Take With YouTake a quiet moment to notice where you’ve been carrying things alone. Choose one place in your life where you can let something be easier—asking for help, softening a deadline, or loosening an old expectation. Let this be a small experiment in allowing support. If this conversation opened something for you, share the episode with someone who also deserves more ease and community.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Connect with Tara Pringle JeffersonGRAB A COPY OF Bloom How You Must: CHECK OUT HER SITESELF-CARE SUITETARA'S SUBSTACK - The Well Rested Black WomanStay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Nov 26, 2025 • 11min
Opt Into Restful Gratitude
In this episode, Kelley offers a gentle invitation to rethink gratitude and generosity in ways that honor your real capacity. Instead of pushing through exhaustion or defaulting to obligation, she explores how rest, presence, and honest boundaries can create more meaningful connection. This is a grounding reminder to slow down, soften, and practice generosity that does not require self-erasure.Key TakeawaysGratitude does not need to look like labor or over-functioning; it can be quiet, slow, and restorative.Generosity is not depletion—true generosity flows from clarity, intention, and wellness.Rest is a powerful model for others and an act of generational healing.You are allowed to give less, move slower, and choose what aligns with your current capacity.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:01 — Naming the pressure of gratitude and generosity: Kelley reflects on how cultural messages about being grateful and generous can encourage Black women to push past their limits, reminding listeners that gratitude does not require exhaustion.02:36 — Reframing gratitude as rest and truth-telling: A powerful reminder that gratitude can look like slowing down, breathing, or closing the door for five quiet minutes.03:31 — Redefining generosity without self-sacrifice: Kelley introduces a spacious definition of generosity—one rooted in values rather than guilt or depletion.Gentle Call to ActionAs you move through this time of reflection, take a quiet moment to find one small pocket of peace. Let yourself pause. Let yourself breathe. Let your generosity begin with you.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Nov 19, 2025 • 25min
Opt Into Caring Without Collapsing:
This episode invites you to look honestly at the weight you’ve been carrying—family roles, cultural conditioning, religious expectations, emotional labor—and notice where care has turned into collapse. Kelley unpacks why so many Black women feel stretched thin and offers a grounded path back to caring in a way that honors your capacity, preserves your joy, and keeps you connected without abandoning yourself.Key TakeawaysCaring becomes harmful when it requires self-erasure, chronic overgiving, or inherited roles that leave you invisible.Cultural, familial, and religious conditioning often normalize collapse, and unlearning these scripts is essential.You can care deeply while protecting your energy through pausing, honest capacity checks, and letting grown people be grown.Caring without collapsing brings lightness, reciprocity, steadiness, and the return of your joy.Episode Highlights & TimestampsNaming collapse and its signs — The internal breaking point so many Black women hide behind resilience. [00:02:03–00:03:00]How collapse shows up: resentment, exhaustion, invisibility[00:09:00–00:09:15]Tools for boundaries and presence — Capacity checks, time parameters, and redirection without abandoning yourself. [00:18:11–00:20:29]What caring without collapsing feels like — Lightness, reciprocity, safety, and joy’s return [00:21:00–00:22:00]Gentle Call to ActionTake one small step today: choose one place where you’ve been giving from depletion and practice a pause before responding. Let your body tell you the truth about your capacity.If this episode brought clarity, share it with someone who is carrying too much. Let them know there’s another way—care can coexist with ease.Support the ShowAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Nov 12, 2025 • 28min
When Juggling Isn’t Joyful: The Cost of Carrying It All
In this deeply personal episode of Black Girl Burnout, host Kelley opens up about the exhaustion that comes with trying to hold everything together—career, caregiving, friendships, and self-care. She examines why so many high-achieving Black women feel pressured to “keep all the balls in the air,” and what it means to pause, realign, and choose peace over perfection. Kelley invites listeners to question the story behind their constant juggling and to gently let go of the myth that balance means doing it all.KEY TAKEAWAYSThe belief that we can “have it all” and “do it all” is a system trap that fuels burnout.Silence around struggle keeps us isolated—naming the cost of success is an act of healing.Balance isn’t the goal; alignment is. True peace comes from dropping what doesn’t serve you.Giving yourself permission to pause is not failure—it’s an act of reclaiming your capacity.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS & TIMESTAMPS00:00 – Kelley shares her personal experience of juggling multiple roles and feeling stretched thin.03:00 – The myths of “having it all” and “doing it all” as silent traps for high-achieving women.07:50 – Why “balance” keeps us burned out—and how “alignment” offers a softer, truer alternative.15:30 – Practical reflection: What are you juggling right now, and what can you safely put down?GENTLE CALL TO ACTIONTake a quiet moment this week to notice what you’ve been juggling out of fear or obligation. Ask yourself: What can I set down, even for a little while? Share your reflections with us on social media @blackgirlburnout, or leave a review to help another Black woman find this space of rest and relief.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Nov 5, 2025 • 24min
Opt Into Delicious Discipline: Finding Joy in Everyday Habits
In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley invites you to rethink what discipline can feel like. Instead of viewing structure as a restriction, she shares how to make discipline delicious by weaving in joy and pleasure through a practice called dopamine anchoring. This gentle, neuroscience-backed approach helps you stay consistent without relying on willpower or burnout cycles—proving that pleasure isn’t a distraction from your goals, it’s the fuel that enables you to reach them.KEY TAKEAWAYSJoy isn’t a reward—it’s the engine that makes meaningful work possible.Discipline becomes sustainable when it’s paired with consistent pleasure and sensory anchors.Small rituals like scent, music, or sunlight can rewire your brain to associate joy with effort.You don’t have to earn rest or play—integrating them into your routines leads to lasting change.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS00:58 — Why “work hard, play later” doesn’t work for your nervous system04:53 — How dopamine anchoring transforms chores and routines into joyful rituals08:29 — Kelley’s personal journey from hustle and burnout to rhythm and ease15:22 — Simple ways to create your own sensory and movement anchors for daily joyA GENTLE INVITATIONStart small: choose one daily task and pair it with a simple pleasure—a favorite scent, a song, or a five-minute stretch. Notice how that shift changes your energy.Then, share your experience with us on Instagram @blackgirlburnout or tag us using #OptIntoJoy.If this episode helped you reimagine what discipline can feel like, follow Black Girl Burnout on your favorite podcast platform and leave a gentle 5-star review to help more women find this community of rest, joy, and abundance.SUPPORT THE SHOWAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.STAY IN TOUCHJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.OUR SPONSORSCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy


