Black Girl Burnout

In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley explores how empowerment has quietly shifted into performance — and why that shift is especially exhausting and harmful for Black women. She unpacks the cultural, economic, and patriarchal pressures driving hustle culture, aesthetic wellness, and performance-based worth, while offering a softer, more liberatory way forward as the year comes to a close.Key TakeawaysEmpowerment loses its power when wellness, beauty, and productivity become performances instead of choices rooted in joy.Black women are uniquely impacted by overlapping pressures to be exceptional, desirable, resilient, and endlessly productive.Grief over unmet expectations (partnership, motherhood, timelines) is valid — but it is not a measure of worth.Soft Life Liberation is about choosing ease, rest, and humanity without needing to earn them.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00–02:00 — Why ending the year softly matters, and how performance culture is fueling burnout03:00–05:15 — When wellness becomes an aesthetic and self-improvement turns into exhaustion08:49–10:00 — The unique pressure Black women face at the intersection of worth, desirability, and resilience19:54–26:00 — Introducing Soft Life Liberation and a gentle practice to release performance-based worthSoft InvitationAs you move through the end of the year, notice one message you’ve absorbed about who you “should” be. Gently ask yourself who benefits from that belief — and then offer yourself one softer truth instead. There’s no rush, no fixing required. Just space to choose ease, even in small moments.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Kelley names what’s really behind the collective exhaustion so many Black women are feeling: layer after layer of crisis, an overworked nervous system, and the cultural push to lock in when we barely have anything left to give. Drawing from her lived experience and burnout expertise, she breaks down the three layers of the Great Crash Out of 2025 and offers a liberatory alternative: finishing the year softly. Instead of urgency, shame, or “push harder” thinking, this conversation ushers listeners into practical softness, lowered bars, micro-permission slips, and deep rest — a grounding reset for anyone who is tired in their spirit, body, or bones.Key Takeaways (3–4 max)Nothing is wrong with you — you're living through a collective burnout event.Survival mode is incompatible with high performance, and your nervous system is doing its best to protect you.Finishing the year softly is an act of liberation, not laziness.Practical softness > performative productivity, especially in seasons of depletion.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00 — Naming the Great Crash Out of 2025Kelley opens with a clear, compassionate framing of the exhaustion so many are feeling and affirms that nothing is wrong with you.07:30 — “Me too, girl. Me too.”She shares transparently about grief, family stress, financial uncertainty, and her own nervous system overwhelm — offering shared humanity rather than performance.10:31 — Survival Mode vs. High PerformanceKelley explains why creativity, focus, and motivation go offline under chronic stress, grounding the conversation in evidence-informed truths about burnout.18:00 — The Soft Pivot: Practical Over ProductiveShe offers three soft-life strategies: lowering the bar, finishing the year softly, and giving yourself micro-permission slips.22:43 — Your Only Goal This Month: SoftenA liberatory reframing of December as a time to reclaim capacity rather than perform productivity or self-reinvention.If This Episode Spoke to You…If this episode made you feel seen, relieved, or less alone, share it with another woman who deserves softness and liberation in this season. Leave a review on Apple or Spotify to support the movement — it’s free, deeply impactful, and helps this message reach more women who need it. And stay connected across platforms at Black Girl Burnout for community, softness, and what’s coming next.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this deeply grounding conversation, Kelley and author Tara Pringle Jefferson explore what it takes to stop “doing it all yourself” and allow support, softness, and ease into your life. Together, they unpack how burnout, community, and generational healing intertwine—and what it means to give yourself permission to bloom exactly as you are.Key TakeawaysLetting yourself be supported is not weakness—it’s relief and renewal.Community and vulnerability are essential parts of self-care and healing.Making life easier for yourself is an act of resistance, not indulgence.Blooming is both a personal and generational practice—when you flourish, others do too.Episode Highlights[00:03:00] Tara shares how burnout led her to “retire” from Team I’ll Do It By Myself—and how asking for help brought unexpected relief and community.[00:12:20] The story behind Bloom How You Must—how a Lucille Clifton poem became the heartbeat of Tara’s message about Black women’s wellness and resilience.[00:28:00] The revelation that “it’s perfectly fine to make life easier for yourself”—and how small shifts toward ease can radically change daily life.[00:45:00] Tara and Kelley discuss generational healing, honoring their mothers and grandmothers, and redefining strength through softness and humanity.Something to Take With YouTake a quiet moment to notice where you’ve been carrying things alone. Choose one place in your life where you can let something be easier—asking for help, softening a deadline, or loosening an old expectation. Let this be a small experiment in allowing support. If this conversation opened something for you, share the episode with someone who also deserves more ease and community.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Connect with Tara Pringle JeffersonGRAB A COPY OF Bloom How You Must: CHECK OUT HER SITESELF-CARE SUITETARA'S SUBSTACK - The Well Rested Black WomanStay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Kelley offers a gentle invitation to rethink gratitude and generosity in ways that honor your real capacity. Instead of pushing through exhaustion or defaulting to obligation, she explores how rest, presence, and honest boundaries can create more meaningful connection. This is a grounding reminder to slow down, soften, and practice generosity that does not require self-erasure.Key TakeawaysGratitude does not need to look like labor or over-functioning; it can be quiet, slow, and restorative.Generosity is not depletion—true generosity flows from clarity, intention, and wellness.Rest is a powerful model for others and an act of generational healing.You are allowed to give less, move slower, and choose what aligns with your current capacity.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:01 — Naming the pressure of gratitude and generosity: Kelley reflects on how cultural messages about being grateful and generous can encourage Black women to push past their limits, reminding listeners that gratitude does not require exhaustion.02:36 — Reframing gratitude as rest and truth-telling: A powerful reminder that gratitude can look like slowing down, breathing, or closing the door for five quiet minutes.03:31 — Redefining generosity without self-sacrifice: Kelley introduces a spacious definition of generosity—one rooted in values rather than guilt or depletion.Gentle Call to ActionAs you move through this time of reflection, take a quiet moment to find one small pocket of peace. Let yourself pause. Let yourself breathe. Let your generosity begin with you.Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode invites you to look honestly at the weight you’ve been carrying—family roles, cultural conditioning, religious expectations, emotional labor—and notice where care has turned into collapse. Kelley unpacks why so many Black women feel stretched thin and offers a grounded path back to caring in a way that honors your capacity, preserves your joy, and keeps you connected without abandoning yourself.Key TakeawaysCaring becomes harmful when it requires self-erasure, chronic overgiving, or inherited roles that leave you invisible.Cultural, familial, and religious conditioning often normalize collapse, and unlearning these scripts is essential.You can care deeply while protecting your energy through pausing, honest capacity checks, and letting grown people be grown.Caring without collapsing brings lightness, reciprocity, steadiness, and the return of your joy.Episode Highlights & TimestampsNaming collapse and its signs — The internal breaking point so many Black women hide behind resilience. [00:02:03–00:03:00]How collapse shows up: resentment, exhaustion, invisibility[00:09:00–00:09:15]Tools for boundaries and presence — Capacity checks, time parameters, and redirection without abandoning yourself. [00:18:11–00:20:29]What caring without collapsing feels like — Lightness, reciprocity, safety, and joy’s return [00:21:00–00:22:00]Gentle Call to ActionTake one small step today: choose one place where you’ve been giving from depletion and practice a pause before responding. Let your body tell you the truth about your capacity.If this episode brought clarity, share it with someone who is carrying too much. Let them know there’s another way—care can coexist with ease.Support the ShowAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this deeply personal episode of Black Girl Burnout, host Kelley opens up about the exhaustion that comes with trying to hold everything together—career, caregiving, friendships, and self-care. She examines why so many high-achieving Black women feel pressured to “keep all the balls in the air,” and what it means to pause, realign, and choose peace over perfection. Kelley invites listeners to question the story behind their constant juggling and to gently let go of the myth that balance means doing it all.KEY TAKEAWAYSThe belief that we can “have it all” and “do it all” is a system trap that fuels burnout.Silence around struggle keeps us isolated—naming the cost of success is an act of healing.Balance isn’t the goal; alignment is. True peace comes from dropping what doesn’t serve you.Giving yourself permission to pause is not failure—it’s an act of reclaiming your capacity.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS & TIMESTAMPS00:00 – Kelley shares her personal experience of juggling multiple roles and feeling stretched thin.03:00 – The myths of “having it all” and “doing it all” as silent traps for high-achieving women.07:50 – Why “balance” keeps us burned out—and how “alignment” offers a softer, truer alternative.15:30 – Practical reflection: What are you juggling right now, and what can you safely put down?GENTLE CALL TO ACTIONTake a quiet moment this week to notice what you’ve been juggling out of fear or obligation. Ask yourself: What can I set down, even for a little while? Share your reflections with us on social media @blackgirlburnout, or leave a review to help another Black woman find this space of rest and relief.Our Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley invites you to rethink what discipline can feel like. Instead of viewing structure as a restriction, she shares how to make discipline delicious by weaving in joy and pleasure through a practice called dopamine anchoring. This gentle, neuroscience-backed approach helps you stay consistent without relying on willpower or burnout cycles—proving that pleasure isn’t a distraction from your goals, it’s the fuel that enables you to reach them.KEY TAKEAWAYSJoy isn’t a reward—it’s the engine that makes meaningful work possible.Discipline becomes sustainable when it’s paired with consistent pleasure and sensory anchors.Small rituals like scent, music, or sunlight can rewire your brain to associate joy with effort.You don’t have to earn rest or play—integrating them into your routines leads to lasting change.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS00:58 — Why “work hard, play later” doesn’t work for your nervous system04:53 — How dopamine anchoring transforms chores and routines into joyful rituals08:29 — Kelley’s personal journey from hustle and burnout to rhythm and ease15:22 — Simple ways to create your own sensory and movement anchors for daily joyA GENTLE INVITATIONStart small: choose one daily task and pair it with a simple pleasure—a favorite scent, a song, or a five-minute stretch. Notice how that shift changes your energy.Then, share your experience with us on Instagram @blackgirlburnout or tag us using #OptIntoJoy.If this episode helped you reimagine what discipline can feel like, follow Black Girl Burnout on your favorite podcast platform and leave a gentle 5-star review to help more women find this community of rest, joy, and abundance.SUPPORT THE SHOWAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.STAY IN TOUCHJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.OUR SPONSORSCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this reflective solo episode, host Kelley explores what it means to “do your best” when your best no longer looks the same. Drawing from her experience with grief, aging, and shifting capacity, Kelley redefines productivity and success through softness and self-compassion. She invites listeners to release perfectionism, honor their limits, and embrace a gentler approach to achievement.This episode is a tender reminder that your best self is not about doing more—it’s about doing what’s sustainable and aligned with who you are today.KEY TAKEAWAYSDoing your best changes with your season of life—honor your current capacity.Softness and rest are not weakness; they are essential to long-term fulfillment.Cultural and familial conditioning can disguise perfectionism as ambition.Redefining excellence can help you reclaim balance, visibility, and joy.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS00:00 – Redefining “Your Best”Kelley opens up about end-of-year pressures and how “soft lock-in” challenges the old habit of grinding.04:00 – Listening to the Body’s SignalsShe reflects on grief, aging, and the body’s cues for rest and slowing down.07:00 – Unlearning the Need to OverperformKelley unpacks how cultural narratives about excellence and representation shaped her identity.18:00 – Choosing Ease and VisibilityShe closes by discussing how striving for perfection leads to burnout and invisibility—and how choosing ease brings peace.SUPPORT THE SHOWAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.STAY IN TOUCHJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.OUR SPONSORSCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Pharmanutra: pharmanutra-us.comSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this powerful episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley invites us to radically rethink how we approach productivity. For generations, Black women have been conditioned to believe that joy must be earned—that rest comes only after the grind. But what if that belief is not only outdated, but harmful?Through personal stories, science-backed insights, and cultural truth-telling, Kelley introduces us to dopamine anchoring, a technique that helps you pair joy with effort to create ease, motivation, and emotional safety. This isn’t about tricking yourself—it’s about healing yourself. It’s time to opt out of burnout and into a life where joy leads.Key Takeaways:Willpower is not your problem—depleted dopamine is. Chronic stress disrupts your motivation, making “push through” productivity unsustainable.Black women have been sold a lie: grind now, rest later. That mindset leads to burnout, not breakthroughs.Dopamine anchoring can rewire your brain for joyful productivity. Pairing pleasurable activities with hard tasks helps you create new habits grounded in ease.Pleasure is not a distraction—it’s a resistance tool. Choosing joy is a radical act of self-preservation and cultural healing.Episode Highlights + Timestamps[00:01:00] – Calling Out the Willpower MythKelley breaks down how the brain’s chemistry—not mindset alone—determines our motivation. Willpower doesn’t stand a chance when dopamine is depleted.[00:06:00] – A Personal Story of Burnout and BetrayalKelley shares her journey of grinding in her twenties and thirties, achieving professional “success,” but still feeling depleted, overlooked, and disrespected.[00:14:51] – What is Dopamine Anchoring?A clear, simple explanation of this practice: pairing joyful sensations with difficult tasks to build sustainable motivation and safety in the nervous system.[00:23:00] – Three Practical Anchor RitualsKelley offers a sensory anchor, a connection anchor, and a celebration anchor—three gentle rituals you can try today to reclaim joy and make work feel softer.Support the ShowAre you experimenting with new ways to rest? Whether it’s saying no to one more obligation, shutting your laptop at 5 p.m., or taking a slow walk with no agenda, capture that moment of ease. Share it with us:@blackgirlburnoutSubscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.comWatch the episode on YouTubeDrop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness.Stay In TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our Sponsors:Check out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out SideralXL for your Iron needs: https://pharmanutra-us.com/Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelley shares an honest check-in she calls The Getting My Life Together Toolkit. Instead of another rigid routine or “glow-up” plan, she offers the small, sustaining habits and mindset shifts that are actually helping her through life’s “life-ing.” From soft structure and nervous system routines to practical self-care rituals, Kelley invites you to build your own toolkit—one rooted in gentleness, intention, and capacity, not perfection.KEY TAKEAWAYSStructure can be soft. Create routines that support you—not drain you—by honoring your real capacity, not your ambition.Habits can soothe your nervous system. Small grounding rituals like making your bed, dressing intentionally, and setting calm boundaries bring steadiness to your days.Dress for the energy you want. Even when working from home, wearing real clothes can signal self-respect and shift your mindset.Protect your peace before bed. Limiting dysregulating content at night helps your nervous system unwind and deepens rest.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS[00:00–03:00] A Real-Life Check-In: Kelley explains why she’s naming this season her “Getting My Life Together Toolkit” and shares what inspired it.[03:00–07:00] The Type A Recovery Plan: How she’s learning to make to-do lists that honor capacity rather than overachievement.[07:00–11:00] Nervous System Habits That Stick: From making her bed to red-light therapy, Kelley shares small routines that make her mornings calmer.[11:00–17:00] Dressing for Your Day: How shifting from hoodies to cozy two-piece sets has changed her energy and self-respect.[17:00–22:00] Protecting Peace at Night: Why she no longer watches intense or “dysregulating” shows after 7 p.m., and how it’s improving her sleep and calm.[22:00–28:00] Building Your Own Toolkit: Kelley invites listeners to reflect on what’s actually helping them through and share their own soft lock-in routines.YOUR TURNTake a few minutes today to build your own Getting My Life Together Toolkit.Write down 3 small things—habits, tools, or mindset shifts—that help you feel more grounded or capable right now.Then, share one of them with us on social media using #BlackGirlBurnout.Your toolkit doesn’t have to be perfect—just supportive. That’s the real goal.SUPPORT THE SHOWAre you stepping into a “Summer of No”? Whether you’re canceling plans for rest, setting fresh boundaries, or saying no to what drains you, you don’t owe anyone guilt. Take a moment this week to capture what freedom looks like for you. Snap a pic or video of your joy and tag us:📱 @blackgirlburnout📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com📺 Watch the episode on YouTube💌 Show some love—don’t let Kelley’s mama be the only one dropping hearts!STAY IN TOUCHWant more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community?Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources and tools to support your burnout-free life.OUR SPONSORSCheck out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGBCheck out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/BGBSavvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCirclePrivacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleOur Sponsors:* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy