Paul Buono on OCD, Fear, Identity & Becoming a Fully Human Coach

In this deeply human conversation, coach Paul Buono opens up about identity, perfectionism, OCD, lupus, disordered eating, fear-based avoidance, and the path to becoming a more integrated person. The episode explores how tunnel vision—whether toward fitness, career, or health—can disconnect us from friendships, opportunities, and fully living.

We also talk about coaching psychology, small wins, micro-habits, routines, messy life transitions, and why connection is the most important part of health.

This one is rich with insight, self-awareness, compassion, and extremely relatable struggles. Paul’s honesty helps listeners feel seen, and his coaching philosophy shines through story after story.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Intro — Chris opens the episode and asks Paul for a short personal intro.01:00 – Who Paul Is Beyond Coaching — identities outside of career.02:00 – The struggle with accepting help — Chris’s couch story and independence.03:00 – Tunnel vision & the “rabbit wheel” — Paul’s CrossFit era and missing life.04:00 – Living like a racehorse — blinders, achievement, and imbalance.05:00 – Anchors in life: people who pull you out — Chris’s travel breakthrough.06:00 – OCD, fear, and exposure therapy (ERP) — Paul goes deep.07:00 – Fear of the future & “3-2-1 just do it.”08:00 – Closing the loop: exposure → proof of safety09:00 – When OCD shapes your whole life — childhood patterns, checklists.10:00 – Eating disorder origins & control11:00 – Lupus diagnosis shrinking his world — hypervigilance & restriction.12:00 – Bringing your own soap to work — how extreme it became.13:00 – Reintegrating with the real world — embracing discomfort.14:00 – Safe foods vs connection — Chris’s nutrition reflection.15:00 – Real Coaches Summit impact — connection > fear.16:00 – Diversity in fitness & hidden limitations17:00 – Hearing impairment + jiu jitsu — Chris’s perspective.18:00 – Nothing has to be perfect to still be worth it19:00 – People think coaches are perfect—but we’re not20:00 – Coaching breakthrough story — client who transformed through compassion.21:00 – “You have to be willing to look like an idiot.”22:00 – Shortening the gap after setbacks — from 6 weeks to 2 days.23:00 – Micro-habits & clothes on the toilet seat24:00 – Setting people up for wins instead of overwhelm25:00 – Turning weaknesses into strengths (homemade pizza story)26:00 – Tiny details that unlock big adherence27:00 – Breaking workouts into 5-minute chunks28:00 – Plan A vs Plan B programming29:00 – Weight trends vs real progress31:00 – Compassion > criticism32:00 – The brain’s bias toward threat34:00 – In-person training and human connection36:00 – Why funny stories often reveal wins38:00 – Chris’s philosophy in-person training39:00 – Are relationships scalable in online coaching?41:00 – Loneliness, AI, and the future of fitness42:00 – Chris’s Substack & predictions about the future44:00 – Online coaching delivery models46:00 – Automation for call scheduling (backend vs client-facing)48:00 – Exposure therapy in everyday life (dishwasher story)50:00 – Removing life “leaks” one decision at a time51:00 – Moving out post-divorce & ripping the bandaid53:00 – When chaos moves you forward faster54:00 – Leaning into discomfort & not waiting for perfect clarity55:00 – Paul’s January coaching waitlist56:00 – Paul’s life advice: know your values, prioritize authentically.

Paul Buono

Instagram: https://instagram.com/paulbuono

Website: https://paulbuono.com

Host Links:

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