Gay Men Going Deeper Eroticizing Shame - Turning Pain Into Pleasure
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Apr 10, 2025 Merle Yost, a psychotherapist specializing in sexual trauma, shares his powerful insights on eroticizing shame and its complex ties to sexual desire. He reflects on his own childhood abuse and how it shaped his understanding of dissociation. The discussion delves into how shame can manifest in BDSM and compulsive behaviors, emphasizing the possibility of reclaiming eroticized experiences as part of healing. Listeners explore ways to recognize healthy versus unhealthy patterns in sexual exploration, making for a deeply impactful conversation.
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Repressed Memories Revealed In EMDR
- Merle described uncovering repressed memories during EMDR training when a phobia exercise triggered memories of sexual abuse.
- He recalled being raped from ages nine to twelve and dissociating to survive, which later surfaced in therapy.
Dissociation As A Survival Mechanism
- Merle defines dissociation as leaving the body to survive unbearable experiences.
- He emphasizes dissociation records trauma in the body even when consciousness is absent.
How Shame Becomes Erotic
- Eroticizing shame happens when survivors focus on the pleasurable aspects of abuse to tolerate it.
- Shame reframes victims as feeling 'I'm bad', which intertwines with sexual desire.
