10% Happier with Dan Harris The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering
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Dec 24, 2025 Elaine Lin Hering, a former Harvard Law lecturer and author of 'Unlearning Silence,' dives deep into the art of finding your voice. She explores how silence is often learned and the hidden costs of self-editing in various relationships. Elaine shares her four essential steps to effectively speak up and emphasizes the importance of intentional silence for self-care. Plus, she highlights how we can unintentionally silence others and offers solutions to foster open communication, especially in parenting.
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Voice Equals Agency
- Voice is more than words; it's agency over how you move through the world.
- Silence becomes harmful when it removes a person's agency to express needs or preferences.
ToiletGate Clarifies Assumptions
- Elaine tells "ToiletGate" where different definitions of ‘clean’ led to silence then clarification.
- Connecting the dots prevented long-term assumptions and improved understanding.
Practice With Small Experiments
- Run small, low-risk experiments to practice speaking up and gather data points that it will likely go fine.
- Use simple real-life tests to expand your comfort and evidence that asking is safe.