Philosophy For Our Times The importance of giving up | Adam Phillips
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Oct 28, 2025 
In this engaging conversation, Adam Phillips, a distinguished British psychoanalytic psychotherapist and essayist, explores the often-overlooked value of giving up. He challenges the cultural idolization of perseverance, suggesting that sometimes, stepping back can be a creative act that allows personal growth. Phillips discusses the harmful effects of relentless duty on enjoyment and advocates for teaching children the wisdom of knowing when to persist versus when to quit. Ultimately, he emphasizes that giving up can lead to newfound freedom and self-discovery.
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Perseverance Is Culturally Fuelled
- Our culture's idolisation of perseverance stems from puritanical values that prize loyalty, thoroughness, and completion.
- Adam Phillips argues this can usurp genuine enjoyment and prevent people from discovering what they truly like.
Tell Resistance From Mismatch
- Distinguish resistance that precedes pleasure from signs that something is simply not for you.
- Try persisting when resistance promises enjoyment, and give up when you genuinely lack interest.
Fixed Identity Narrows Desire
- Fixing a single identity can reduce anxiety by simplifying desires, but it risks narrowing the self.
- Phillips links such fixed identities to addictions and being undernourished by limited wants.
