How Not To Suck At Divorce 176. How the SUCK Acronym Changes Your Divorce
A simple framework for smarter decisions when emotions run high
This week, Morgan and Andrea flip the script and want you to SUCK at divorce. Yep, you read that right. Learn how to Set aside your feelings, Utilize experts, Calm your nervous system, and Know the facts: a game-changing framework that’ll help you make better decisions (and fewer expensive mistakes) during your divorce.
From cortisol spikes to co-parenting apps, nervous-system hacks, and even Amazon finds that actually don’t suck, the girls cover it all ...with the perfect blend of legal insight, emotional honesty, and wine-soaked humor you’ve come to expect.
🧠 What You’ll Learn
- Why your emotions are the worst business partners during divorce — and how to manage them
- How to think like a CEO (even when you feel like a hot mess)
- When and how to actually use your divorce experts
- Simple science-based tricks to calm your body in moments of panic
- How to separate facts from feelings to protect your sanity (and your wallet)
🛠️ The SUCK Framework
S – Set aside your feelings
U – Utilize experts
C – Calm your nervous system
K – Know the facts (and stick to them)
🥂 Quote of the Week
“Divorce is a marathon — or as Andrea would spell it, a Martha-thon"
Timestamps:
05:01 – The Hulu Show That Made Us Cringe
Andrea reviews All’s Fair — the all-female divorce firm drama starring Kim Kardashian — and the verdict? “It sucks.” (Which turns out to be the perfect segue…)
07:46 – Introducing the SUCK Acronym
Morgan and Andrea unveil a new framework that will actually help you survive your divorce with your dignity intact:
S – Set aside your feelings
U – Utilize experts
C – Calm your nervous system
K – Know the facts (and stick to them)
09:02 – Step 1: Set Aside Your Feelings
Morgan explains the science behind emotional flooding (hello, cortisol!) and how to think like a businessperson instead of a brokenhearted one.
10:34 – Andrea’s Advice for the Highly Emotional
If you can’t be calm — pretend to be someone who can. Channel your inner TV badass (minus the tire-slashing).
11:35 – Step 2: Utilize Experts
Morgan reminds listeners: you hired your experts for a reason. Don’t go rogue.
12:55 – Why Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice Backfires
Andrea walks through what happens when clients do the opposite of what their lawyer says — and how to avoid a legal disaster.
15:59 – Step 3: Calm Your Nervous System
Andrea and Morgan dig into the physical side of stress. What happens in your body when your ex drops a bombshell — and how to get your calm back.
17:54 – Morgan’s “20-Minute Rule” for Freakouts
She shares a practical strategy: take 20–30 minutes before responding to any major divorce news. No driving, no emailing, no rage-texting.
19:44 – Andrea’s Panic-Proof Toolkit
The “panic attack queen of Chicago” shares her science-backed tricks: movement, cold exposure, vagus-nerve activation, and a hilarious deck of cards that actually help.
22:29 – Step 4: Know the Facts and Stick to Them
Morgan explains why emotional storytelling wastes time and money — and how bullet-pointed facts will save your case.
23:50 – Feelings Aren’t Facts
Andrea breaks down why your opinions about “Brenda being a nut job” won’t hold up in court.
25:07 – How It All Comes Together
Andrea explains how each SUCK step builds on the next — from calming your system to using your experts effectively.
26:46 – Recap: Why You Need to SUCK
Morgan summarizes the SUCK method and introduces their thriving online communities.
27:53 – The Community Shoutouts
They celebrate the rapid growth of their private and post-divorce Facebook groups (and tease upcoming expert videos).
29:17 – Andrea’s Favorite Amazon Finds
Ice rollers, mood-light sconces, and gifts that make your friends’ day — because retail therapy totally counts as healing.
30:44 – Morgan’s $40 Spanx Dupe
The jumpsuit that broke the internet (and didn’t break the bank).
33:57 – Red Light Special
Andrea’s bedroom lighting hack turns hilariously NSFW — and somehow ties back to the theme of “sucking.”
Resources:
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.com
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Please rate our show! It means so much!! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck
Amazon Links:
Andrea's Vegus Nerve Deck: https://a.co/d/7oH0YBr
Andrea's Ice Roller: https://a.co/d/5euYlve
Morgan's SKIMS Dupe Sweatsuit: https://a.co/d/6tJ8zeR
Andrea's battery operated light fixtures: https://a.co/d/5Pqt2Sq
Join the private communities!
The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community
The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago