Your Negative Self Talk–and Your Marriage: Ted Lowe
Sep 6, 2023
auto_awesome
Ted Lowe, author, discusses the impact of negative self-talk on marriages and shares insights from his experiences with the Detroit Lions. He emphasizes the importance of self-belief and how it affects team performance as well as relationships. Lowe explores the 'ants' exercise to separate negative thoughts, encourages countering them with truth, and discusses addressing negative self-talk in marriage and family.
Belief in oneself and one's team is crucial for success, applying to both sports and marriages.
Negative thoughts about oneself can impact marriages, but identifying and countering them can lead to self-compassion and healthier relationships.
Deep dives
Believing in Yourself and Your Team
Believing in oneself and having confidence in one's abilities is crucial in achieving success. The speaker recounts their experience as part of a football team where the lack of belief among the players affected their performance, leading to losses. The speaker asserts that winners believe in themselves and their team before they achieve success, a principle that also applies to marriages and relationships.
The Impact of Negative Thoughts on Self-Image
The speaker discusses the detrimental effect of negative thoughts on self-image and its impact on marriages. They share their personal experience of battling negative self-talk and feeling unworthy. The speaker emphasizes that how one thinks about themselves influences their entire being, including relationships. They introduce a practice of identifying and categorizing negative thoughts, allowing individuals to separate them from their true identity and find relief through self-compassion and the support of loved ones.
Embracing Positive Self-Image through Faith
The speaker explores the power of embracing a positive self-image through faith and a strong belief in God's love. They highlight the importance of theological beliefs about God and one's identity as the foundation for making decisions and fostering healthy relationships. By recognizing that God sees and loves them, individuals gain freedom from the negative narratives in their minds. The speaker suggests the practice of surrendering negative thoughts, receiving God's love, and countering lies with the truth found in Scripture. They encourage open conversations within families to address the impact of negative thoughts and help one another embrace their worth in God's eyes.
Your negative self-talk: It's sabotaging your marriage—and you may not know how deeply. Author Ted Lowe gets real about identifying and confronting the dark side within.
"I cannot tell you the number of times, standing on the sideline with the Detroit Lions at a NFL game over 33 seasons, that we get in the fourth quarter, it’s a close game, and I would have this thought: 'Our team does not believe when the game’s on the line we have what it takes to win. That’s the difference between winners and losers, is you don’t believe it, and your self-prophecy comes true.' And we don’t.
Again, I’m not saying that’s the only reason we lost so many games, but I remember in 1991 when we went almost—one game from the Super Bowl, you could feel the opposite. It was like, “We believe!” I really believe that teams that win believe it before they actually do it, and I think it applies to marriage. "