In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls 'love languages'. By learning these languages, individuals can discover their unique love languages and those of their loved ones, leading to deeper and richer levels of intimacy. The book includes practical steps and a love language assessment to help strengthen relationships. It emphasizes that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it, and understanding these differences can improve communication and relationship satisfaction.
“The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular self-help books on relationships ever written, and it’s often used in couples’ therapy. However, despite its massive popularity, there’s a surprising lack of research on the theory behind it. My guest today recently published a new study that tested some of its core ideas, and the findings may very well surprise you.
I am joined by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is licensed to practice psychology in New York and Pennsylvania, and is an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – Sacramento.
Some of the topics we address in this episode include:
- What are the five love languages?
- Does everyone have a primary love language?
- Are people actually happier when their partner “speaks” their primary love language?
- Which love language is most strongly linked to relationship satisfaction?
- Is the love languages concept useful in sex and relationship therapy?
You can check out Sharon’s website to learn more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Sex and Psychology Podcast 
