Episode 360: What’s Your Love Language?

Jan 7, 2025

Join Dr. Sharon Flicker, a clinical psychologist and Associate Professor at California State University – Sacramento, as she dives into the intriguing world of love languages. Discover the five love languages and whether everyone has a primary one. Learn how speaking your partner's love language can boost relationship satisfaction and which languages are most effective. Flicker unveils surprising findings from her new study and critiques existing research, highlighting the need for more depth in understanding love languages in diverse relationships.

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Intro

00:00 • 4min

Understanding Love Languages in Relationships

03:42 • 13min

The Nutritional Guide to Love Languages in Relationships

16:14 • 3min

The Importance of Acts of Service in Love Languages

19:23 • 2min

Exploring the Love Language Model

21:40 • 7min

Understanding Love Languages and Relationship Quality

28:48 • 3min

“The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular self-help books on relationships ever written, and it’s often used in couples’ therapy. However, despite its massive popularity, there’s a surprising lack of research on the theory behind it. My guest today recently published a new study that tested some of its core ideas, and the findings may very well surprise you.

I am joined by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is licensed to practice psychology in New York and Pennsylvania, and is an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – Sacramento.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

What are the five love languages?
Does everyone have a primary love language?
Are people actually happier when their partner “speaks” their primary love language?
Which love language is most strongly linked to relationship satisfaction?
Is the love languages concept useful in sex and relationship therapy?

You can check out Sharon’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.