Episode 424: Are Humans Made To Be Monogamous?

Aug 19, 2025

In this engaging discussion, Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College and author of 'The Sexual Evolution,' shares insights into whether humans are biologically wired for monogamy or non-monogamy. Listeners explore the critical distinctions between social and sexual monogamy, the evolutionary implications of mating strategies observed in other primates, and the role of brain chemistry in romantic attachments. Lents advocates for a nuanced understanding of relationships, challenging traditional notions and celebrating diverse partnerships.

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INSIGHT

Social vs Sexual Monogamy

Social monogamy is pair bonding and shared resources, distinct from sexual exclusivity.
Humans are generally socially monogamous but not universally sexually monogamous.

INSIGHT

Monogamy Is Rare In Mammals

Very few mammals are genetically sexually monogamous; only about eight species among thousands.
Primates pair-bond more often, but most mammals do not form stable pair bonds.

INSIGHT

Humans As Flexible Mating Generalists

Humans show both a history of sexual monogamy and signs of evolving away from strict sexual exclusivity.
We are extreme generalists in social and sexual strategies, built for flexibility and adaptation.

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Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds of reproductive success and genetic diversity in our species. So which is it? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

I am joined by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What’s the difference between social monogamy and sexual monogamy?
How common are social and sexual monogamy in both humans and animals, and how often do they overlap?
Can research on other primates shed light on how human mating strategies evolved?
Can someone’s brain chemistry predispose them to being monogamous or non-monogamous?

You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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