“You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here! Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens."Mel Robbins
Sometimes we humor our knee-jerk reactions of resistance too much. In this episode, I talk about Mel Robbins’ The 5 Second Rule, explaining why and how to listen more to our good impulses before doubts have a chance to creep in.
I summarize Mel’s thesis that, if you don’t physically act on an impulse within five seconds, you kill it. I explain why I initially resist her message and why I’ve been converted. I note the power of counting backward, explaining why it’s effective, and I explore the different ways to use the #5SecondRule.
This Week on The Mindset Zone:
Mel Robbins’ 5 Second RuleWhy your problem isn’t that you don’t have enough ideasWhy counting down to the moment of action is effectiveThe different ways to use the 5 Second RuleHow a triangle can help us change
Resources Mentioned:
The 5 Second Rule by Mel RobbinsMel Robbins: How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over
Expand what's possible!
Transcript of this episode:
I still remember clearly, walking down the stairs in my family house where I grew up in Portugal, thinking about something I wanted to do.
Without saying anything to my mom about my desires she would somehow suggest the same thing I had been thinking.
And just like that, her suggestion was the kiss of death to my desire. Maybe this is typical teenage resistance. Annoying as it must have been to my mother, perhaps my resistance was good, a sign I wanted to create my own way and identity.
Fast forward to the present time, now in my late forties, I still sometimes get the knee-jerk reaction of resisting things that are good for me.
In 2021, I had come across the work of Mel Robbins several times, by references to her book "The 5 Second Rule," her keynotes, or interviews she did in podcasts and other media. My first impression of Mel was very positive. I like her high energy and go-getter attitude. My curiosity was further sparked by her telling the story that her 5-second rule was almost an after-thought to end her now-famous TEDx "How to stop screwing yourself over." So, I decided to watch it. I thought she had done a great job and found the 5-second rule concept interesting. Mel explains:
"If you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it!
If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in five seconds, you're going to pull the emergency brake.
If you have an impulse about, you were inspired by somebody's speech today, and you don't do something within five seconds – write a note, send yourself a text –anything physical to marry it with the idea, you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea."
She follows up by saying, and I absolutely love this part:
"Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them.
You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault.
You're doing it to yourself. Stop it!"
Then, she goes on to challenge the audience:
"I want you to practice the 5-second-rule. You see somebody and you think you have an impulse, they look interesting? Walk over there!
You were inspired by somebody and you have a request? Make it! That's why you're here!
Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens."
I love this challenge to action. It's a great example of how we can start the change process through a simple act - just doing it!
But do you need a book, a 240-page book to explain what Mel did so clearly in 2-minutes in her talk?
So, I initially resisted getting the book, but because references to it keep popping up in several places, and Mel Robbins is one of the most sought-after motivational spea...