KQED's Forum Are We 'Overinvested' in Our Kids?
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Jan 29, 2026 Nina Bandelj, UC Irvine sociology professor and author of Overinvested, examines how modern parenting became emotionally and financially intense. She explores why devotion to children feels inevitable. She discusses policy effects on parental well being, the ratchet of competitive parenting, privatized caregiving, and ways communities can reclaim shared care and let kids be bored and independent.
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Parenting As Emotional-Economic Work
- Parenting has become emotionally and financially all-consuming due to a marriage of economization and emotionalization of life.
- Nina Bandelj argues this trend is historically recent and socially produced, not natural.
Parental Happiness Is Policy-Dependent
- The U.S. shows a large parental happiness gap compared with other rich countries.
- Bandelj links this gap to national policies and societal supports, which can reduce parental unhappiness.
Emotional Bonding Replaced Independence Goals
- Modern parenting emphasizes a sacred loving bond and prioritizes children’s emotional well-being over fostering independence.
- This shift can make parenting more exhausting and less focused on raising independent adults.
