What is the Difference Between Alienation & Estrangement?
Oct 27, 2022
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Bill, an expert on alienation and estrangement, discusses the differences between the two in high conflict divorces. He emphasizes setting limits in intact families and offers insights on dealing with high conflict people. The episode explores the impact of parental decisions on child relationships and provides practical advice for managing relationships effectively.
Parental alienation involves a child's resistance due to favored parent's behaviors, while estrangement results from a child's avoidance of a rejected parent's actions.
Estrangement can stem from a parent's behavior leading to distancing for self-preservation, highlighting the importance of personal responsibility in relational conflicts.
Deep dives
Difference Between Alienation and Estrangement in Families
Alienation in families occurs when a child resists contact with a parent influenced by the favored parent's behaviors like bad-mouthing or emotional manipulation, while estrangement in families happens when a child avoids contact due to the rejected parent's actions. In a case discussed, a high-conflict father's overwhelming emotional behavior led his son to reject contact with him, despite the mother's support for the relationship, illustrating a scenario of estrangement.
Exploring Cases of Parental Estrangement
Instances of parental estrangement may arise from a parent's behavior, causing children to distance themselves to preserve their well-being. An example presented includes a situation where a child resisted contact with a father who moved away for a job, leading to a prolonged estrangement that eventually resolved after years due to the mother's encouragement and support for reconciliation.
Understanding Complex Family Dynamics and High-Conflict Individuals
In intact families, one parent may alienate children against the other, while in adult relationships, estrangement can occur due to individual behavior leading to distancing. The distinction between setting healthy limits and estrangement is highlighted, emphasizing the importance of recognizing personal responsibility in relational conflicts. The episode concludes with a preview of the next topic on managing high conflict in schools.
In high conflict divorce, accusations of parental alienation are common and cause tremendous distress for everyone involved, including the courts. But is it truly alienation? Or is it estrangement? What’s the difference? It’s important to understand the difference.
In this episode, Megan quizzes Bill on the similarities and differences and Bill talks about the theories he’s developed and written about in several books, most specifically in Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce.