Dr. Becky discusses the challenges of parenting a tween son who is pulling away and seems distant, focusing on navigating communication, emotional world, and digital age issues. Strategies for building connections through shared interests like playing Fortnite and the path to reconnection with family members are explored.
Understanding the need to balance parental presence and respecting a tween's independence during developmental changes.
Managing parental anxiety by personifying worries, establishing boundaries, and connecting with the child through shared interests.
Deep dives
Is My Son Just Introverted?
The mom shares concerns about her son's quiet behavior, contrasting it with other parents' stories. Despite his reserved nature, he engages with friends while playing video games, leaving the mom puzzled about his behavior. She worries if his demeanor hints at depression, considering his lack of emotional expression. Amidst her concerns, she contemplates if his introverted tendencies are heightened during this developmental stage.
Navigating Parental Concerns
The mom expresses her internal struggle when her son comes home from school and retreats to his room, prompting thoughts of should she intervene or give him space. This dilemma leads her to question her parenting approach, seeking balance between being present and respecting his independence. She acknowledges the constant mental battle about what actions to take and the fear of potentially missing signs of distress.
Understanding Internal Anxiety
The podcast delves into the concept of distinguishing between valid concerns and amplified fears in parental anxiety. Dr. Becky advises the mom on personifying her anxious thoughts as 'Stacey,' urging her to establish boundaries and recognize that Stacey's worries might not fully represent reality. By acknowledging and managing this anxious part, the mom can approach her son's behavior with a clearer perspective.
Connecting Through Shared Interests
A practical approach emerges as Dr. Becky suggests connecting with the son through his interest in Fortnite, emphasizing the value of engaging in his world. By involving herself in his gaming sphere, the mom can foster a sense of understanding and closeness without the pressure of deep emotional conversations. This shared experience serves as a bridge to strengthen their bond amidst the challenges of adolescence.
As our kids grow up and pull away, it can feel like they're breaking up with us. This week, Dr. Becky talks to a mom wondering why her son feels so distant as he begins middle school. He seems to have plenty of time to play video games and talk to his friends but she feels like she doesn't know anything about his life anymore.
For information on parenting your teen with Good Inside and the Teen Foundations Workshop: https://bit.ly/4ckbJTu Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books. For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast To listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy
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