How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships (Encore)
Nov 21, 2023
34:39
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A discussion on navigating political discussions with family members, emphasizing the importance of recognizing shared values and treating each other as people. Strategies for repairing relationships and maintaining respectful conversations are offered, including de-escalation and acknowledging differing viewpoints.
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Quick takeaways
Identify shared values with parents to establish common ground and de-escalate potential conflicts.
Step into your parents' shoes and understand their perspective to foster constructive conversations and prevent misunderstandings.
Deep dives
Bridging Political Differences with Family
This podcast episode discusses the challenges of talking politics with family members, particularly during the holidays. Shannon, a listener, shares her experience of growing apart from her conservative parents due to her changing ideologies. The host, along with expert Bill Doherty, provides advice on how to navigate political conversations while maintaining a healthy relationship. They emphasize finding common values, trying to understand the other person's perspective, and not trying to change anyone's mind. The goal is to foster empathy, respect differing opinions, and focus on the deeper connections we have beyond politics.
Creating Common Ground
One strategy suggested by the expert is to identify shared values with your parents. By acknowledging the values you both hold, it becomes easier to find a starting point for conversation. The focus is on finding common ground rather than agreeing on specific issues. This approach can help de-escalate potential conflicts and maintain a level of respect between family members.
Understanding Perspectives
It's important to step into your parents' shoes and try to understand their perspective, even if you disagree with their views. Consider the possibility that they might feel like they failed in raising you if your beliefs differ from theirs. By acknowledging their point of view, it can lead to more constructive conversations and prevent misunderstandings.
Letting Go of the Need to Change
A key aspect of discussing politics with family is letting go of the desire to change their minds. It is crucial to recognize that as adult children, we have little influence over our parents' core beliefs. Instead of attempting to change them, focus on sharing your own perspective without expecting them to agree. This approach helps maintain healthier and less combative conversations.
On a recent phone call Shannon’s mom didn’t mince words: The only way she’d vote for Joe Biden is if Jesus himself comes down and tells her to. Growing up in a conservative household, Shannon understands her parents’ support for Trump. But she no longer sees eye-to-eye with them and every time they talk about politics it turns into a fight. The result is a complete fraying of their relationship. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Bill Doherty, professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota, and co-founder of the non-profit Braver Angels, to help Shannon and her parents navigate this heated election season. The most important thing to remember, Bill says, is that you can’t change your parents’ minds. But you can still save your relationship by recognizing shared values and treating each other as people, not political opponents.
Do you have a relationship you’d like to mend? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
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