No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery 22: Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction?
Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction? In today’s episode we talk about what people-pleasing is, where it comes from, and why many addicts struggle with people-pleasing tendencies.
What is People Pleasing?
- The tendency to do things to make others happy while putting your own needs at risk.
- The need to control another person’s emotions and ensure they feel happy.
How Can People Pleasing Cause Porn Addiction?
Pornography addiction has almost ZERO to do with manly urges, sexual cravings, or sexual obsession. Breaking free of porn has little to do with stopping the behavior itself, and far more to do with overcoming the underlying mental, spiritual, relational, and even physical causes of porn addiction.
We seek out porn addiction for a reason. That reason has everything to do with our mental state, i.e. negative feelings of shame, fear, inadequacy, etc. that we are experiencing on a daily basis, and perhaps more importantly our desire to resist and escape from these negative feelings.
People-pleasing is the desire for others to think well of us - we want to do things that impress others or make them see us in a positive light. This can cause us to:
- Focus too much on ourselves (ironically), which fuels addictive behaviors.
- Feel a lot of pressure to do things just right (perfectionism), which can lead us to cope through addiction.
- Neglect our own needs to the extent that we do not do those daily activities that support our recovery.
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