Conversations with Dr. Jennifer When Desire is Difficult (and what to do about it!) | Q&A with Dr. Jennifer
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Aug 27, 2025 Navigating desire can feel like an uphill battle for many women, often turning intimacy into a duty. The pressure to 'fix' desire only makes it more elusive. True desire thrives in authenticity and freedom, away from societal expectations. The discussion highlights crucial differences in men’s and women’s sexuality, and emphasizes the importance of open communication in relationships. Cultivating ease and genuine connection is key to nurturing vibrant sexual relationships, moving away from performance and focusing on shared enjoyment.
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Desire Can't Be Forced
- Desire is not an act of will and cannot be forced into existence by effort or obligation.
- Trying to manufacture desire usually makes it more elusive because desire needs freedom to emerge.
Freedom Fuels Eroticism
- Sexual desire thrives on a sense of freedom and authenticity rather than duty or obligation.
- When sex feels like self-betrayal or duty, eroticism is easily snuffed out.
Cultivate A Stronger Self-Reference
- Develop a self-reference by taking your wishes seriously instead of constantly seeking external validation.
- Build personal clarity so you can make choices you feel at peace with in marriage and sexuality.