From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer Culture-based attachment shaming - Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (part 2) - Episode 91
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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.
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Podcast Description
Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to stay with the person who betrayed you? Do you sometimes feel insecure and clingy in your relationships? This is a struggle for many adults who believe they shouldn't need other people when they're feeling insecure. In this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S for a discussion on why our attachment needs are not only normal, but essential for our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In this episode, we discuss:
- A brief overview of the science of attachment
- What our culture does to shame and criticize our natural attachments to each other.
- How this shaming is harmful to our individual and collective wellbeing
- When dealing with betrayal, how cultural views of attachment make it tough for betrayed partners who choose to stay and work it out
- The balance between dependency and individuality
- How we can create balanced support for personal safety while honoring our attachment reflexes.
More on Michelle's Background:
Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues.
Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures.
Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit.
Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC.
Additional Resources from Michelle:
Center for Relational Recovery - www.relationalrecovery.com
PartnerHope - www.partnerhope.com
PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners - https://partnerhope.com/blog/
Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program - https://partnerhope.com/braving-hope/
Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners - https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/
The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.