John's eaten two helpings of pancakes and we’re in a race against time. Can this bantercast cram in enough badinage before one of its hosts succumbs to a sugar crash? It’s a question that’s been asked many times before, and one that will no doubt be asked again, but it’s a critical question nonetheless.

Elis has spent the week telling his wife Isy that he ‘must be alone’ in order to finish John’s book. He successfully wrangled enough solo time to do so and delivers his verdict. It’s praise all round, but Dave appears to come out of it badly.

Elsewhere it’s peak Christmas. Listener gifts are opened, Elis is dreading his drive to Cardiff, and John doesn’t want to talk about his Christmas lest the show turn into another mental health podcast.

And we end on the question: how do you inject digital oil into a podcast to make it rise to the top? Answers on a postcard.

All Elis and John want for Christmas is your correspondence, so send it to: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

#499 - Digital Oil, Peak Christmas and Love Shakes Piles