

220: How to Stay Connected When Teens Pull Away. Guests: Gordon Neufeld, PhD & Gabor Maté, MD
10 snips May 20, 2025
Gordon Neufeld, PhD, an expert in attachment, and Gabor Maté, MD, a physician focused on childhood development, share valuable insights on connecting with teens. They discuss the impact of digital culture on adolescent mental health and the importance of nurturing parental relationships. The conversation highlights strategies for fostering emotional bonds and effective communication. Listeners will learn how to balance independence while maintaining a strong familial presence, and the dangers of tech addiction that may undermine those crucial connections.
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Attachment's Crucial Role
- Attachment is a lifelong, preeminent drive where children depend on caregivers.
- When teens shift attachment from parents to peers, parental care no longer effectively reaches them.
Evolution of Child Attachment
- Humans evolved with children primarily attached to adults, not peers.
- Early peer orientation before strong individuation disrupts healthy development.
Protect Attachment from Technology
- Prioritize attachment by limiting early and independent use of digital devices.
- Extend time children spend cared for by adults rather than in peer-only settings like daycares.