Ask Casey Eps 3: Back Talk

Here is what I got from a listener:

Hey lady!

As I said in my post, Sheane (my teacher ;)) is really volatile right now, and so much of what she's saying is full of disrespect and sass. Oh, and often high volume. It's driving me nuts. I suspect it's because summer is upon us, and she is worried about the transition, having to say goodbye to her teacher, etc., as she's so sensitive so it's freaking her out. If I say, "Please sit down and finish your breakfast" (she gets up several times during mealtimes, mostly to cartwheel), she'll yell, "MOM! Stop telling me that! I was going to!!!" Or, she's started to respond, "I don't care!" or "I don't have to!" Shaun and I have really been working on our tone with each other and the kids, so I feel like we're really modeling ways to disagree, ask questions, etc., without being disrespectful. And, we've been working on our connection with her, each of us committing to ensuring that she is feeling that sense of belonging and significance. So, I'm somewhat stumped now as to where to go with this. Often she's outright saying, "NO!" or is moaning and groaning about every situation, even when choice and inviting language is used. I did just take the "is your child sensitive" quiz that was posted on the FB page, and she scores off the charts. Thoughts? This child is teaching the hell out of me.

So grateful for parents who reach out for support!! Enjoy this episode of Ask Casey as I do my best to share advice and feedback on this behavior that drives us ALL mad!!

• Back talk video 
• Article on consent – good man project
• “Our kids are doing the best they can with the skills they have.”
• What/How questions
• Connect before correct
• Get curious about your child’s experience too
• Offer the opportunity for a redo
• They need to have the space for you to say “that wasn’t the best way to handle this situation, let’s try it again.”
• Practice being non-attached (don’t take it personally)
• “Tell me about that…” and then LISTEN DEEPLY
• The goal is to help our kids build skills to navigate disappointment in a way that isn’t hurtful to others, themselves or the environment around them.
• Soothing basket PDF
• Hold space for them to be uncomfortable and trust them to get to the other side
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• Listeners!!! Chime in with your thoughts!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around setting limits for screen time??
• Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage page
• If you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!!
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• THANK YOU!!
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