Becoming Whole When Your Wife Asks "Do You Think I'm Pretty?"
You know, it's just interesting, isn't it? That so many women wrestle with self esteem issues around their bodies. And so many men wrestle with lust.
And it seems like the enemy just has a hay day there. Because put those two together and it just seems like a recipe for couples really to struggle.
Pornography impacts both husband and wife and it certainly impacts their sexual intimacy. Here's what happens. He recognizes that when he looks at porn she feels hurt by him.
From that hurt, all sorts of questions arise in her, like, am I not valuable enough for you? Am I not pretty enough? Do you find them sexier than me? Am I not pleasing you in our bed?
When he recognizes that she feels those things, he's tempted to to keep his sin from her. To not let her know because he doesn't want to hurt her in that way. It's wired into him to want to be her hero, not the villain who hurts her.
On her side of things, she feels all those those questions. And now any insecurity she has is now highlighted. Any insecurity she has about her body, or what she feels are imperfections in her personality or in her physique. Those become highlighted for her and she feels even less desirable.
And so what happens in turn, they both end up pulling away from each other. He is keeping things from her and feeling more shame about what he's doing. She is is keeping herself from him. Because to be naked and unashamed to open herself to him, both emotionally and literally physically in the act of sex is such a vulnerable thing to do. And when a man looks elsewhere, it's very, very difficult for for a wife to believe.
Why should she? That's not to point a finger and be extra mean to the guy. But it is to highlight the complexity between husband and wife.
How there's this chemical reaction that gets tricky and really difficult and painful for both husband and wife in this situation.
God's original plan was that husband and wife would be naked and without shame. And instead, the marriage becomes a place of fear and shame. Where both feel like they need to hide themselves and wear fig leaves in front of each other in order to be accepted and loved by the other.
So what are those fig leaves?
What are those things that we keep from each other that keep us from each other?
Help the show:
- Support the show
- Ask a question by emailing us
- Leave a review
- Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
- Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)