In this engaging discussion, Professor Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist from Cornell University, dives into the surprising influence we all wield in our interactions. She reveals the 'invisibility cloak effect' where people underestimate their impact, particularly introverts. The conversation also explores how observing others can amplify experiences and the dynamics of asking for favors—often leading to unexpected positive outcomes. Bohns warns about misinformation spread through bullshitting and emphasizes the importance of recognizing our influence to uplift others.
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insights INSIGHT
We Underestimate Our Influence
People have more influence on others than they realize because humans are social creatures who listen and mimic each other.
We often underestimate the impact we have simply because we don't perceive ourselves as influential.
insights INSIGHT
People Notice What Matters Less
People tend to notice the general presence and actions of others more than the detailed flaws they worry about.
Embarrassing things we think others focus on often go unnoticed by most people.
insights INSIGHT
The Invisibility Cloak Effect
We feel like we're unseen because we're overly focused on ourselves and our fears of judgment.
In reality, people notice our everyday behaviors and some positive aspects more than we expect.
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In this book, social psychologist Vanessa Bohns draws from her original research to illustrate why people fail to recognize the influence they have on others. She explains how this lack of awareness can lead to missed opportunities or the accidental misuse of power. Bohns weaves together compelling stories with cutting-edge science to answer questions about the impact of our words, actions, and presence on others. The book offers strategies for observing the effect we have on others, reconsidering our fear of rejection, and sometimes pulling back to use our influence less. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing the influence we already possess rather than seeking ways to gain more influence[2][3][5].
Welcome back to another exciting and informative episode of the Rational Reminder Podcast, a show all about finances and how to get the most of your money responsibly. To make the right decisions regarding your investments, besides the knowledge and understanding of financial systems, you also need to understand the psychology behind your decisions. To help us unpack this complicated and interesting subject is Professor Vanessa Bohns, a Social Psychologist and Professor of Organizational Behaviour at Cornell University. Professor Bohns has a Ph.D. in Psychology from Columbia and is the author of You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why It Matters. The topic of the book is exactly what today’s show is about, as we delve into the intricacies of human behaviour and decision-making. In today’s episode, we learn about the influence that people have on one another, how people perceive one another, the human behaviours that scammers take advantage of, why people worry about saying the wrong thing, what the default behaviour of people is, why people struggle to say no to a request, and so much more! Don’t miss out on this fascinating episode with special guest and expert, Professor Vanessa Bohns!
Key Points From This Episode:
How much impact and influence people have on one another. [0:03:09]
What people tend to notice about other people. [0:04:50]
Why people don’t realize what other people are paying attention to. [0:08:58]
How being in the presence of other people affects experiences. [0:10:31]
Whether communicating with someone about a shared experience amplifies it. [0:12:41]
Reasons why some people are underconfident in their social lives. [0:13:20]
Problems that stem from underconfidence. [0:15:52]
The consequences of underestimating how much people like us. [0:18:02]
Why people worry about saying the wrong thing. [0:20:53]
Whether it is default to believe or disbelieve when assessing information. [0:22:55]
The impact of people interacting with people anonymously. [0:26:01]
How the default to believe people impacts receiving advice from experts. [0:27:22]
The authority on a subject can switch between domains of expertise. [0:31:19]
Ways in which scammers take advantage of behavioural biases. [0:32:22]
Problems caused by people being dishonest or spreading false information. [0:34:47]
Approaches to ensure that you are not spreading misinformation unintentionally. [0:36:04]
Why asking for what you want is so effective. [0:38:21]
Whether asking for what you want becomes easier over time. [0:40:33]
The effect that money has when asking for something. [0:42:24]
Differences in response to small or large requests. [0:43:48]
How responses differ between direct and indirect requests. [0:45:23]
What effect asking in person as opposed to over email or text have on responses. [0:47:20]
Reasons behind the hesitancy for people to ask for what they want. [0:49:04]
Why people find it difficult to reject a request from someone. [0:50:36]
Whether saying no in person is the same as saying no over email. [0:52:12]
Feeling guilty and whether you should feel bad asking for things. [0:53:52]
How people generally respond to unethical requests. [0:56:21]
Find out if people with authority realize how much influence they have. [0:59:01]
Approaches to help people be more aware of their influence. [1:00:58]
A rundown of the impacts of not being aware of other people has. [1:05:12]
We end the show with Professor Bohns sharing her definition of success. [1:07:41]
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