The ADHD Parenting Podcast

When Love and Empathy Turn into Disabling

28 snips
Nov 12, 2025
This re-release dives into the intricate balance between empathy and enabling behaviors for kids with ADHD. A powerful listener's comment sparks a discussion about how too much protection can lead to learned helplessness. The hosts emphasize that real confidence stems from experiences, not over-helping. They also outline daily stress points and provide actionable steps to replace verbal prompts with clearer expectations. The takeaway? High expectations combined with empathy can foster independence and executive function growth.
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ANECDOTE

Adult Who Was Raised Helpless

  • A listener described marrying a man who couldn't cook, do laundry, or balance a checkbook because his parents did everything for him.
  • He later learned skills, became a supportive father and a community college math professor after being trusted to try and fail.
INSIGHT

ADHD Is A Performance, Not IQ, Issue

  • Mike McLeod and Ryan Wexelblatt emphasize that ADHD is a performance disorder about showing what you know, not an IQ problem.
  • Executive functions develop through experience, not lectures, so kids need chances to try tasks and face consequences.
ADVICE

Teach Skills In The Moment, Not Only In Therapy

  • Use parent training and in-the-moment teaching rather than relying solely on talk therapy to build real-world executive skills.
  • Generalization of skills happens at home and school, not only in therapy offices.
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